25 Days to a Happier Home — Day 8

happy family

Thanks for keeping up with our 25 Days to a Happier Home! I hope you will take the time to read and dive into every single challenge. Your home deserves to be a happy place!

Today’s challenge is: Follow the Leader.

Wow! I know I am going to get some backlash on this one, but stay with me — just for a little bit.

Let me tell you about a young girl with dark brown hair and eyes. She was a spiteful, hard-headed and stubborn girl. In fact, many times she heard her dad say, “You will have to marry someone more stubborn than you to make your marriage work!”

That same girl had very self-exalting dreams and goals. Marriage and home-making was not on her list. She was going to make a name for herself and travel the world showcasing her talents.

But after a few, short years, a greater power stepped in and changed her heart. God saved her, and immediately her outlook and desires were changed. Her cold, heart of stone became tender and soft. She began reading God’s word and slowly began to grasp the reality that God’s plans were radically different than hers. In fact, the theme of this wonderful, living book was not “live for yourself.” In fact, the more she read, the more she understood that her life was not about her desires, but about God’s.

As she began to make more self-sacrificing decisions, she began to receive hoards of negative feedback. “You’re throwing your life away!” and other comments were critically tossed in her direction. She learned not to listen to these voices, but only follow the leading of God’s word.

In due time, she met a guy that would change her life. It wasn’t love at first sight, but she was definitely intrigued. He was so different from the rest of the guys her age. He desired to follow God’s word and earnestly sought God’s will for his life.

She began asking him questions about the Bible and admiring his strong testimony. In just a few months, he had her heart in his hands. About one year later, those two young people were married. Everything was bliss. The young girl that was once so hard-hearted and set in her ways, was now joyfully following her husband. She knew God had set him up to be the leader in her life, and she accepted his leadership graciously.

However, many children later, there were times when her rebellious side would start creeping in again. After all, she was a mom now. She knew about kids and babies, and it was difficult to follow her husband when their parenting views collided.

It didn’t take long to see the turmoil her stubbornness was causing in the home. If she refused to follow the leader, her kids were immediately despondent and sad. They would leave the dinner table and head to their rooms with a heavy heart.

You guessed it, that young girl and woman is me.

Ladies, I know what the Bible teaches about marriage. I know that it says in Ephesians 5:22-23 quite clearly:

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.”

But sometimes, my flesh overrules my spirit and gets the best of me. I open my mouth in protest to my husband about tiny things. Things that don’t really matter; but I want my way in them! It may be home decor, kid’s outfits or even what home-school curriculum to use. As small as those decisions are, when my husband steps in and takes over, there is a part of me that wants to scream, “Hey! That’s my realm of power in this home! You go back to the bills and big stuff.” But, alas, this phrase rings in my mind and heart: “…so let the wives be (subject) to their own husbands in every thing.”

Every thing?

Gulp. Yep. Everything.

It’s not always easy following the leader, but when I do my marriage and my relationship with my kids is happier and stronger. The happiness temperature of my home can go from pleasant to freezing cold in seconds — just from an insubmissive, controlling remark that flies out of my mouth.

Ladies, trust me when I tell you that when you choose to follow the leader, you are choosing to make your home a happier abode. It’s a tough cookie to munch on at times, but when you see the fruit of obeying God in everything, it will encourage you to keep going.

Try it this week and you are sure to see a pleasant change in your husband and kids. They may even mention the change and ask you what’s going on.

What are the “perks” of following the leader?

  • Security. Everyone knows who has the last say-so. There is no confusion in that area, and that creates a more secure environment for the kiddos.
  • Less quarrels. When there is a leader and a follower, there are no need for disputes. The leader may ask the follower for her opinion at times, but everyone acknowledges that the leader is the ultimate decision-maker. If the followers are doing their part, there is little room for arguing.
  • Less confusion. Everyone knows their part. The husband is the head of the home. The wife follows the husband, and the kids follow both of the parents. Even our toddlers know the chain of command in our home. This is how they put it: “Daddy is the big boss. Mommy is the little boss.”
  • Blessings from obedience. When we follow the leader, we are choosing to obey God’s commands and his word. God blesses his children for obedience!

Please know I am only writing this hard-to-swallow post to help your home become happier. I only desire the best for my readers and hope that you will take time to consider and challenge yourself to follow the leader!

Have you seen a positive change in your family when you follow the leader? I would love to hear about it!

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happier home

Don’t miss the other days of the 25 Day Challenge!

Day 1 Happier Home Challenge
Day 2 Happier Home Challenge
Day 3 Happier Home Challenge
Day 4 Happier Home Challenge
Day 5 Happier Home Challenge
Day 6 Happier Home Challenge
Day 7 Happier Home Challenge

About Alison

You can find Alison encouraging moms on Google+, Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest. Follow her there to keep up with all the latest momspiration!

Comments

  1. Stephanie Engelman says:

    I love this post! And I particularly liked your last paragraph. It’s all about making your home a happier home. Sometimes God’s ways don’t make sense or seem fair, but it’s all about what’s best for us. And this is definitely best.

  2. GREAT POST! My story is a little different as I didn’t start following the leader until after the leader and I were already married for several years. Imagine his surprise when his stubborn wife started letting him lead. It was a gradual process (of which is still going) and one day he mentioned that “wow, we never seem to fight much anymore and we are so happy, what changed?” I quickly told him that I had been studying Proverbs 31 and God had changed my heart….still working on my heart too!

    • Such a great testimony of how God can make our homes happier when we follow the leader! Thanks for sharing this! It’s always great to hear those personal stories!

  3. Thanks so much for this post! What advice would you give for a woman whose husband knows his role is to lead, but simply does not? How can a mom pick up the slack without overstepping the bounds?

    • Hi Erin!

      Such a great question! Many women are faced with that situation, and it is hard to give a direct answer since each situation is different. However, I would encourage you to pray for your husband in this area. Ask God to specifically work in his heart about leading the family. Resist the urge to take over and do things, because he simply isn’t. I have met many wives who became bitter, angry and even extremely disrespectful because they felt their husband wasn’t leading, disciplining the kids or making decisions. However, when the women prayed for their husbands and focused on keeping themselves submissive and kind, many of their husbands turned around and began leading. But as long as the wife points out his lack of leadership and tears him down, he will most likely never gain the desire to lead. Again, each situation different, but I would encourage you to pray and make sure you are doing your part!

  4. awesome post here! i really enjoy this in one! and it helps me a lot! thank you for this amazing post my friend! i really like this! keep it up!

  5. Sarah McDonald says:

    Hi Alison,

    I adore your blog and have been so encouraged and inspired by this series of posts!

    I noticed you haven’t posted in a few days I do hope your okay!

    My thoughts and prayers are with you just incase xo

    • Thanks Sarah! My father-in-law is visiting and I stopped everything to spend time with him. we have been traveling and I have not had access to my computer adn ran out of time to write more posts. Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. Don’t worry, I have some more posts on this series on the way! :0)

  6. Julianne Smith says:

    I love this series! Are there any more past day 8? Just curious because i can’t access any more and our looks like day 8 was posted a couple weeks ago.
    Thanks!

    • So glad you are following the series! My FIL came to visit us and so we dropped everything and enjoyed our 10 days with him. I am getting back on the blogging train this week and will be posting tons of days! Thx for the feedback!

  7. Still reading through your series, but off to bed for the night. I’ll be back in the AM to read a few more. :) Love these, Alison. :)

  8. Hi Alison, just wanted to say that I really appreciate your honesty, this post hit home especially hard. It’s like I was reading about my own life! It’s reassuring to know that I’m not the only one thing thru this struggle, and that it isn’t easy, but with prayer and persistence it gets better and the ultimate goal of a happier home is achievable. Sometimes, it is really, really hard… but I really think your challenge will help me grow. Thank you thank you so very much!

    • Hi Mona,

      Thanks for your sweet comment! Yes, it is something I have to strive to remind myself to do. You’re right with prayer and diligently seeking to walk in the spirit, we can all learn to follow the leader! So glad this challenge has been a blessing to you!

  9. Hi Alison! I read this post for the first time a few days ago and have really been taking your words to heart. I’m not yet married or a mom, and I don’t think I can call myself a Christian since I’ve never been to church, so I’m certainly not your intended audience. But I love your blog and your commitment to following God’s will. Your attitude to be the best you can for your family is inspiring to me, and your posts are so encouraging. You’re a great role model!

    • Thank you Kate for your sweet words. I am so glad you found my blog and I hope you will continue to follow along! Actually, church is not what makes someone a Christian. Here is a post that might help you understand what a Christian truly is:When Mom Comes First If you would like to continue discussing what a Christian is feel free to email me at alison.pintsizedtreasures@gmail.com Would love to keep in touch! Have a great week!

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