Do You Study Your Hubby?

Do you know your husband’s favorite things? If not, get to studying!

how to study your hubby

Marriage is an important part of a happy, thriving family. Even though you have munchkins running and crawling around teh house, save some time, thought and energy for your marriage. Don’t forget about the man of your dreams who became your husband and is now helping you raise your pint-sized treasures.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

What’s your husband’s favorite dessert?
What is his favorite drink?
Right now, if someone gave him $1,000, what would he buy?
What’s his favorite hobby?
What specific area in his life does he desire the most prayer?
When he comes home from work, what pleases him more, a meticulously clean home, a delicious homemade meal or a quiet and calm atmosphere?
Is your husband a steady guy, a visionary guy or a commanding, domineering guy?

Several years ago our family was traveling across America. As we traveled, I started surfing radio stations, hoping to find a channel acceptable for our hearing. Within minutes, I heard two women cheerfully discussing kids and marriage. The lady being interviewed said something like this:

“My husband’s main concern is that our house is clean and the kids are happy. He could care less if he ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner, as long as the house was clean. So, I learned to make a clean house and happy kids a priority over mouth-watering meals.”

She continued to encourage the women.

“For a happier marriage, I think most women will find that they need to be a good student of their husband. Take notes when he compliments the house, your appearance or certain dishes.”

These statements revived me during that time, as I had four small kids and lived on the road with my family. I needed some fresh, inspiring ideas for my marriage, and in those few comments and suggestions I found it.

How I Study My Hubby

As we traveled, I made mental notes of what foods my husband really liked. Many times, I snuck around the corner and hunted down the person that prepared the meal. I complimented their dish and then asked for the recipe. I often pray the Lord gives me wisdom to know what to cook and how to make it taste better in order to bring more pleasure to my hubby’s busy day.

My husband has voiced how he desires my hair to be longer, so guess what? I am growing it longer. I also take care to remember the colors and styles of clothing he thinks I am most attractive in. We ate chili topped with cheese three times this week because that’s what he wanted! He is not forcing me to do these things, I want to do these things.

Some women may instantly be critical of this post, but most likely those same women would swoon and enjoy a post about how my husband makes notes of what I enjoy. You see the inconsistency here? Why is it romantic when a husband does thoughtful things and is consumed with pleasing his wife, but a woman is becoming a mindless doormat when she desires to be a good student of her husband?

By the way, my husband has often times surprises me with one of my favorite items ever — iced coffee. Why does he do this? Just because he desired to bring a little extra sunshine to my day. I have also seen my hubby make a note of the set of china I want to own one day. He carefully priced each piece and asked me how many place settings I desired. Then he took the paper he wrote the info on and folded it twice and tried to sneak it into his pocket for future reference. I noticed, but didn’t say a word.

One sweet couple I have gotten to know in the past few months had another sweet hubby story to share. That couple just came to the mission field here in Cambodia. THey are now adjusting to the drastically different life here. THe wife thoroughly enjoys playing the piano and will start teaching piano soon. Her husband took her to a piano store and they tried out different pianos. She sat down to one and fell in love. It was perfect. TO her surprise her husband leaned over and said, “It’s yours.”

When we take time to study our husbands and please them, many times their hearts are moved to please us as well. When we lose interest in pleasing our husbands, many times we only reap negative benefits such as quarreling, no physical contact and lack of companionship. Everyone loses when a wife chooses to stop pleasing and studying her hubby.

No doubt you studied your husband before you got married! You wanted to wear your hair and clothes to get his attention. You wanted to show interest in the things he was interested in. What about now? Keep your marriage alive and well by taking care to remember things that are important to your hubby. Remember those things and act upon them. Your marriage will be revolutionized!

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Comments

  1. says

    “Why is it romantic when a husband does thoughtful things and is consumed with pleasing his wife, but a woman is becoming a mindless doormat when she desires to be a good student of her husband?”

    This is so true! I think it’s because our culture has extremely low expectations for men and so if they so ANYTHING right then it’s considered amazing whereas the feministic stranglehold in our culture balks at ever doing anything for a man because she can do it all herself. It’s completely ridiculous and drives me crazy. Anyway, great post! You’ve inspired me to study my husband more!

  2. says

    Thank you so much for this reminder! So often I feel like my husband and I are just living our lives for our jobs and kids, and not taking enough time to get to know each other. I am trying to be a better wife and this post has given me some great ideas.

    • says

      Thanks for stopping by, Lauren! Husbands need lots of TLC and praise. It goes a long way to never nag, criticize or belittle our hubbies. They love our respect and admiration. They also love good, home-cooked meals and lots of affection;0) It’s great you are trying to be a better wife. I don’t think we can ever stop improving in this area!

  3. says

    So very true! There is nothing demeaning about loving your husband. It all comes down to understanding their love language and using it. You’re right- we all would like our men to do the same so why not initiate?

  4. Tara says

    This is a wonderful post! Thank you for this! These are words I needed to hear. I stumbled across your website and have so far read multiple articles that I truly enjoy.
    God bless!

    • says

      SO glad you stumbled to my blog! I hope I can continue to be an encouragement to you. I think I can never stop trying to study my hubby. Marriage and parenting are always something we have to work at!

      Thx for the encouragement.:)

  5. says

    I do try my best to make my partner happy and am quite lucky I have a natural talent for spotting what he wants – a bit of shameless self promotion here but my gifts are awesome! :). It’s a mutual thing with us, as it should be… Although he’s not at successful at getting things right but he’s adorable when trying :).

    He can’t mess with my hair though, he thinks it would look great if I had short hair. Not gonna happen :)

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