A few months ago I asked several moms if they could grow in one area of motherhood, what would it be? The overwhelming response was the area of patience. Is there really a way a mom can become more patient? I think so.
It’s an everyday battle for me. I have good days and I have bad days.
That’s an honest admission from a reader.
My heart went out to these sweet moms who were openly admitting they needed positive growth in a very important area of motherhood. We all need to be patient, and our kids need us to be patient. They need us to understand when they want to look at the caterpillar crawling on the ground instead of hopping in the car to go to the store. They need us to understand when they don’t get that math problem after we have explained it 14 times. Yes, our kids need us to be patient, so what can we do about it?
I have been blessed to know some patient moms in my life. I have observed their lives and even asked them for advice. If I see a positive character quality in a person, I ask them how they have obtained it.
Many times I hear their words in my mind as my temper begins to boil, and it literally keeps my attitude in check. Here are some principles those ladies have taught me and that I seek to stick to every single day, because every day is different. Sometimes we wake up on the right side of the bed, and others — well, we just won’t go there. Take these tips to heart and may they help you become a patient mom!
How to Become A Patient Mom
- Don’t sweat the small stuff. Face the facts. It is not the end of the world if your child spills his milk at the table. It’s not the end of the world if your baby spits up all over your new dress. It is STILL not the end of the world if your child walks down the middle of the isle in the middle of a church service, then stands on a pew and begins walking across only to step on a Bible and slip onto the floor. (Umm…yeah, that really happened.) Though we may feel frustration and even anger, we need to ask ourselves this question, “Is this REALLY going to impact the rest of my life?” No. No it isn’t. Wipe up the spilled milk, clean your dress and apologize to everyone who saw your child slip and fall in the middle of the church service — but don’t flip out. Don’t lose your cool, and definitely don’t show anger towards your child. They are learning and growing and will mess up sometimes — just like we do! I can’t help but think of that cutesy kid song that says:
“He’s still working on me, to make me what I ought to be. It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars, the sun and the Earth and Jupiter and Mars. How loving and PATIENT He must be. Cause He’s still working on me.”
How patient is God with us? Shouldn’t we reflect that kind of love to our kids?
- Find accountability. The best person to help you be accountable in the area of patience is someone in your very own home. Your hubby or even your kids can keep you accountable. You can have a heart-to-heart chat with them and let them know your desire to be a patient mom. If your child or husband sees you becoming irritable and impatient, ask them to give you a kind, gentle tap on the shoulder or arm to let you know they are observing danger signs. Having someone close to you lovingly point out when you’re in the “danger zone” can help you become the patient mom you desire to be. Just be willing to accept the little reminders with kindness. Your accountability partners are only trying to help!
- Take a breather. If you feel stress and irritation boiling up, go outside for a few minutes, take a quick shower, make some hot tea or go do a few crunches — whatever helps you deal with stress or unwind. Take those few minutes, like 5 or 10, and re-group. Return to your family refreshed, kind and in-control.
- Determine to obey the law. Do you remember the law of kindness in the 25 Days to a Happier Home Ebook That law helps keep me straight when tensions arise. I so desire to be a virtuous woman, and the Bible verse about “the law of kindness is in her tongue” reminds me to take control of my attitude during the tough days. Many times, when we become impatient, we snap. No more do our kids hear a kind and loving voice. Instead, they hear, “Pick up your toys — NOW!” Sometimes through gritted teeth. Step back and ask yourself if you are keeping the law of kindness in your tongue like the virtuous woman did. If she could do it, so can we!
- Play with your kids! What? I guess you didn’t expect that one! Really, playing with your kids relieves tons of stress. If your little ones tend to make mess, draw on walls or just create havoc, why not make some havoc of your own together? Instead of painting walls, do some finger-painting! Instead of making a mess, have a cleaning contest together with a fun prize. Connecting with your kids through play reduces your stress, increases your love and it really does help you stay calm and patient. Has it been so long since you have played with your kids that you have no idea where to start? Check out this simple list of 21 Ways to Play with Your Kids. For sure you can find at least five activities to do — right now!
Have you found some ways to help you deal with impatience? Do you desire to be a patient mom? Let’s discuss it on social media! I love hearing from you!