How to Have a Passionate Marriage After Kids

A Passionate Marriage is an Exciting Marriage!

One of our most popular marriage articles is how to SPICE up your marriage!

Married couples are always trying to find answers to marriage problems.

Sometimes, husbands and wives, while in the midst of attempting to tackle the parenting journey with a smile, forget that they were a couple of love-struck adults before they were parents.

And sometimes, it’s even more difficult to figure out how to get back to that same love-struck couple and manage being an awesome parent too.

Let’s dig into some practical, doable, ideas that over-spent parents can actually apply to see their marriage become ignited once again.

How to Have A Sizzling Marriage When Kids Still Live at Home

Marriage Tip for a Passionate Marriage #1: Spend Time Together Daily

Babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and even TEENS need bucketloads of  undivided attention.

Even with all the busyness of raising awesome kids, make time daily for your spouse.

Some crazy days, this might look like a quick, at-home coffee date in the morning or watching an episode of your favorite TV show over veggies. 

Find a way to get ALL the kids in their rooms or in their bed at a decent hour so you can get an hour or two of alone, uninterrupted time with your spouse.

Your entire family benefits when you focus on keeping your marriage healthy!

Marriage Tip for a Passionate Marriage #2: Never Stop Dating

Just because you’re married with kids, doesn’t mean  you stop dating.

Call the grand-parents, your sister, or a trusted friend to baby-sit your kids for a few hours…every week, if possible.

Short on funds? Have a date-night at home.

After the kids are asleep for the night, start your date!

Prepare your spouse’s favorite dinner and eat under the stars or have a picnic on your living room floor.

Here’s some incredible at-home date night ideas you can try today!

Marriage Tip for a Passionate Marriage #2: Avoid Financial Stress

Raising kids can put a squeeze on your finances.

We have eight (young adults, teens, pre-teens, and kids….super expensive season in life!) people to provide for, so we understand that it’s important to budget and be honest about finances.

One way to avoid financial stress is to figure out your weekly and monthly income.

Then, determine a basic budget for your family.

Start with the major bills first: house payment or rent, car payment, health insurance, etc.

Then add grocery bills, taxes, and so on.

Seeing your expenses on paper helps you realize how much wiggle room you have monthyl for eating out, short excursions, shopping trips and other miscellaneous fun activities.

If your income is not sufficient for your estimated expenses, cut back on some unnecessary items.

Also, try to think of ways to save on your power bill, grocery bill or gas expenses.

If you cut back on these needed expenses, there may be some extra money left over for fun extras.

Take a week to brainstorm and you may be surprised at the frugal solutions you come up with!

Marriage Tip for a Passionate Marriage #3: Avoid Neglecting Your Appearance

Being a busy parent means having less time to devote to your amazing, good looks…;0)

But, avoid completely “letting yourself go.”

I know, I know.

You’re busy and you enjoy being comfy at home.

But what about your spouse?

Your spouse has to look at you often. In fact, they look at you more than you look at yourself…ha!

And everyone prefers to see beauty.

Plus, investing in your appearance also makes you more confident and helps you flirt more and be more physically affectionate.

I highly recommend investing in (yes, spend money on it!) eye-catching lingerie.

This gives you (the wife) extra confidence and helps your husband forget all about daily stress or a football game. :)

Almost any marriage could use more of that!

Marriage Tip for a Passionate Marriage #4: Communicate with Your Spouse

If you’re concerned you and your spouse are becoming too “kid-focused”, take time to communicate your thoughts on this matter.

Ask your spouse if he or she feels neglected.

Getting these concerns out in the open can help you both strive to keep your marriage top priority!

Marriage Tip for a Passionate Marriage #5: Pray For Your Spouse

Always seek God’s help guide your marriage and family.

God has the power to turn you and your spouse’s heart towards each other once again.

Yes, he can even bring the passion back if you ask him to re-ignite the flames of your marriage!

I’ve seen God do that in creative, mind-slowing ways in my own marriage that’s lasted over 21 years.

God truly cares about our families and our marriages!

Plus, it’s hard to be made at your spouse when you’re praying for your spouse!

Marriage Tip for a Passionate Marriage #6: Keep Intimacy a Priority

Intimacy after kids is a little bit more challenging, but the extra work is well worth it!

Take time to kiss your spouse often during the day.

Purposely meet your spouse’s eyes during the day and deliver that flirtatious look your spouse fell for YEARS ago!

Think about all the physical characteristics you enjoy about your spouse — lips, eyes, or hair.

Musing on your spouse’s best physical features help rekindle intimacy. 

Plus, getting to beds to bed at a decent bedtime (here’s a fun way to get kids to go to sleep fast!), will enable you to really de-stress from parenting and focus on intimacy in your marriage.

Here’s some additional tips on re-kindling intimacy.

Marriage Tip for a Passionate Marriage #7: Keep Criticism to Yourself

Most likely your spouse sees their faults…or other people point them out as well.

Instead of reminding your spouse that “he’s always late” or that “he’s gained 50 pounds since you’ve gotten married” or even “he makes less money than all the other men in the family”, remind him why you love him….why he’s a super hero in your eyes…and why he’s your kids’ favorite dad ever…;0)

Wives also enjoy being encouraged and grow weary of being criticized.

Letting go of critical comments and replacing them with encouraging ones can help add spice to a busy parent’s marriage.

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