All at once my world seemed to crumble.
Unpleasant thoughts from my past began to overwhelm me. Even though I tried to hide my hurt and anger from my kids — they could see it. Somehow they always do.
I attempted to tackle my typical evening routine — double checked the washer and dryer, placed dinner in the oven, swept the floor…
Then, a little hand reached for mine.
“Mommy, you need to go see daddy,” my five-year-old son informs me with a grin.
I was confused. My husband knew I was in the midst of getting dinner ready — was it an emergency?
When my son saw my confused look, he decided to add, “You’re not in trouble!”
I couldn’t help but giggle.
Often our kids would tattle to their dad or me, and then would relay to the sibling perpetrator to go see mom or dad. That meant they were in trouble.
But my son was reassuring me all was fine.
Unbeknown to me, my son had slipped off quietly to go have a chat with my husband.
Even during his young tender years, he had learned one thing: when daddy holds mommy everything get better.
Even though I never voiced my pain and frustration to my son, he could tell by my body language, expression and tone that something was troubling me greatly. In his precious, tender-hearted mind he connived a sneaky, but tried and true plan.
When he reached my husband for the “man to man” talk, he simply asked one question.
“Daddy, will you hold mommy?”
My husband relayed to me that he asked in a quiet, understanding voice, but with visible concern for my distress.
Oh, be still my heart.
In my son’s desire to comfort my heart, I found even more encouragement.
Even in the midst of my failures as a wife and mother — and I have many — I am thankful that my son has learned one thing: when daddy holds mommy, troubles and tears seem to disappear.
Sometimes I forget how pertinent it is to my children’s childhood that I diligently work on my marriage.
If I raise them in a perfectly organized house that’s immaculate and with all the Pinterest-must-have decor and have a horrible marriage, I am giving them very little to hold on to.
If I raise them having all the material possessions they could possibly want — and more — but scream and argue with their father, I am giving them very little.
But if I choose to communicate, love, and hold my tongue to avoid endless bickering about a leaky sink, acceptable bedtimes for the kids or processed foods in the pantry, I am giving them security, and a healthy view of marriage that one day they’ll want to model.
I hope my kids continue to see that mommy can find comfort and happiness in the arms of daddy.
She doesn’t need a glass of wine or a night with the girls to find comfort during difficult days. She just needs the loving arms of her husband to wrap around her, hold her and remind her that even though the world is a crazy, mixed up, scary place there’s peace and love in those special moments with daddy.
And to answer my son’s question my husband replied, “Yes, I will hold mommy.”
And he did.