Do You Let Negative and Harsh Thoughts Control You?
Sometimes we compare ourselves with other moms.
And then the negative and harsh thoughts come.
Sometimes I call that the “meanie mom” voice.
Do you let the “meanie mom” voice get to you?
This voice creates a huge shadow of despair that can cloud your heart and mind.
The sneering words of the “meanie mom” voice makes many moms want to hide under the covers and never face family or the world again.
Sure, there are many times we need to be encouraged to thrive in our homes.
We need someone to tell us the truth if our mothering style is creating a cranky toddler.
We need to face reality and own up to our faults and try to improve.
But sometimes, in the midst of trying to strive for improvement, we become surrounded with a “meanie mom” voice.
Your Harsh, Inner Mom Voice Can Be Suffocating
This harsh, relentless critic says countless discouraging comments to moms.
Instead of offering solutions, helps or encouragement, this “meanie mom” voice seeks to tear a mom down.
This voice wants to attack the heart of the home.
This voice wants to strip every mom of her super power — the power to create a happier home.
Maybe the meanie mom voice you hear says disparaging comments like this:
- You’ll never have a clean house
- Your kids will never behave
- You’ll never have a happy home
- You’ll never lose weight again
- You’ll never have a good marriage
- You’ll always live paycheck to paycheck
- Your husband will never think you’re pretty again
- You’ll never be as talented as her.
- You’ll never be a good cook.
- You’ll never get your life in order.
- You’ll always be stressed.
- You’ll always feel defeated.
- You’ll always be tired.
Any of those “meanie mom” comments sound familiar?
Listening to the Harsh, Inner Mom Voice Damages Your Family
Do you know what the effects are of those overly critical and pessimistic comments?
Do you think they help create a happy mom?
Do you think they rob you of your sanity?
I have real-life family members and acquaintances in life that I am absolutely convinced fell underneath the pressure of the meanie mom voice and finally crumbled.
When they crumbled, they brought their family down with them.
Those ladies turned from creative, loving moms to very spiteful, angry, and bitter women.
One of those moms I use to call “friend.”
She use to visit me often.
Our kids would go on fun outings together and we would talk on the phone for hours.
No one would even know we ever had a close relationship in the past.
That mom is so full of anger and depression.
Though I may never hear the truth from her lips, I believe her anger and even envious attitude spurned from listening to a meanie voice and comparing herself with me.
How Does the Harsh Inner Mom Voice Affect You?
A family member of mine began to listen to the “meanie mom” voice too.
She seemed to listen intently and then look at other women who seemed to have it all together. I
Instead of trying to take joy in what she was accomplishing at home, she began comparing herself to other women and thought she fell short.
She too became angry, bitter and eventually cut off my entire family.
I have not spoken to her in six long years.
Though I try to reach out to her she never, ever replies or responds.
Dear mom, I don’t want you to fall victim to the “meanie mom” voice of motherhood.
The truth is, we’re all on this journey together.
Some are better cooks.
Some are better house cleaners.
Some are better business women.
Some are more musically talented.
Some are more crafty.
Some are more naturally attractive.
Some are thinner.
But that’s ok!
What truly matters is that you are doing your part as a mom and wife.
What matters is if you are doing what works bests for your family.
What matters is that you are facing your motherhood journey with a content and joyful heart.
But, I’m not going to leave you hanging there.
Sometimes the “meanie mom” voice pounds and pounds on us in an area we know we are weak in.
And, if you know you struggle in one of the areas listed above, I want to leave you a wee bit of encouragement before you run away.
Here’s why: thinking that constructive criticism and a “meanie mom” voice are the same can be just as damaging as solely believing the “meanie mom” voice.
Does a messy house cause stress?
Do marriage problems lead to depression.
Yep, they do.
Does a mom feel helpless if she has a child who is constantly hitting her and others?
I want you to walk away from this article and realize you don’t have to be a slave to the voice that tells you that you will never, ever succeed in any aspect in your home.
I also want to share with you some articles and helps that can give you encouragement just where you need it most.
Now that you identified the “meanie mom” voice, you can fight back with truth, help and encouragement!
How to Answer Your Harsh, Inner Voice
Judgmental, Harsh Thought #1: You’ll never have a clean house.
Take conquering a messy house step by step.
I highly recommend checking out the Flylady.
She takes overwhelmed moms who feel like they can never, ever achieve a clean house and offers them baby step solutions.
She also shares her personal story that hits home with many moms who live in overwhelming circumstances.
You can grab one of her best-selling books here.
Judgmental, Harsh Thought #2: Your kids will never behave.
This simply isn’t true.
You can start now and change the pattern of misbehaving children in your home.
We offer pages and pages of parenting tips on this website.
You can read all of the parenting posts here.
Just keep clicking through the pages and find the “hot topics” of parenting you need help with!
Judgmental, Harsh Thought #3: You’ll never lose weight again.
I struggle in this area and always have.
I’m just now digging into Trim Healthy Mama and am loving it!
I love their mom-to-mom approach to healthy eating and living.
They offer so many options and menu ideas.
They want you to enjoy eating, living, and being a mom.
But they offer you very important advice end knowledge that I can’t wait to implement!
I have several friends who have found success in following this lifestyle.
I’m hoping I do too!
Judgmental, Harsh Thought #4: You’ll always be tired.
I don’t mention this much, but this became my life’s motto.
I truly believed I would always be tired.
However, the past month I have been experiencing more energy than I have had in years!
The only thing that changed?
I took out white rice, brown rice, white potatoes, all bread, processed foods, and white sugar.
I also removed eggs because they seem to cause some sort of allergic reaction in me.
I went to the doctors for six years trying to figure out my chronic fatigue and pain.
No one mentioned changing my diet.
No one mentioned trying a new way of eating.
Out of desperation, I tried it myself.
So far, so good!
I’m waiting a few more months until I write a detailed post on the matter.
But, let me tell you, there may be a reason you are tired!
I have some energizing tips here that helped me even before I started eating a new way.
I hope it helps you grab some energy too!
Judgmental, Harsh Thought #5: You’ll never have a happy home.
Do you remember what I mentioned in the beginning of this post?
That “meanie mom” voice will make you think you are powerless in your home.
But, mom, you are not.
In fact, I share exactly how you can use your super-power of being a wife and mom to create a happier home for your family in my ebook.
It’s changed so many families around the globe already!
Why not choose to with back the meanie voice with this powerful weapon of knowledge?
What will you do, dear mom?
Will you continue to listen to the meanie voice that causes you depression, anger and frustration?
Or will you choose to be happy, content and decide that you will thrive in your home?
There will always be someone who seems to have it all together.
That’s great for her!
Find joy in your home.
Find joy in your family.
Find joy in your learning journey of motherhood and stop listening to the meanie voice.
Want to join a Facebook group of moms who focus on learning to love motherhood?
Join our All Things Mommy group on Facebook!
See you there! <3
*Affiliate links have been added to help you fight the meanie voice!