Sometimes there are crazy embarrassing questions that kids and teens are itching to have answered. And the fact that they’re curious is absolutely fine. But in that curiosity lies a danger — a danger to seek information from non-personal and possibly damaging sources.
Think with me for a moment.
If you’re a kid or teen who has a personal, embarrassing question about body hair, intimacy or menstrual cycles, where is the easiest place to find answers without anyone knowing who you are?
Imagine your teen or child decides to type in a search term related to that embarrassing question. What kind of”resources” or “answers” would your child read or view?
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Our family is super careful about the internet.
We have two teens in the house and not one of them owns a smart phone.
However, even in a home like ours, kids can — and most likely will — eventually access the internet without adult supervision. It happens. All. The. Time.
Maybe a family member left a smartphone on the couch unatteended. Maybe a family computer was not being used and the room was empty. In spite of all our precautions — and filters — there are still times in which our kids could possibly access the internet.
How can I help control the negative influence of the internet on my kids when it seems almost impossible?
I go straight to the heart of the matter.
My husband and I have very open and honest relationships with our kids. We have explained to our two teens the danger of pornography, the danger of kissing before marriage and even the danger of being alone with someone of the opposite gender for an extended period of time.
We encourage our kids to ask questions — no matter how personal.
And yes, our kids have asked some very personal questions that were embarrassing to answer — but…
Sometimes, even in super-close parent/child relationships there are questions that are too embarrassing to voice.
That’s where this journal idea comes in.
It’s quite simple and places another safeguard in your child’s life.
What do you need to start an embarrassing question journal?
Just a journal (or notebook), a pen and a human being. That’s it!
In this journal, your child can write down any question. Then, the parent takes a few minutes and responds. The parent can then return the journal to the designated “journal” area. Of course you can just put it in your child’s hands, but it may be a teeny bit easier to place it in certain spot. That way your children read it in privacy.
Just today I reminded my teen that he can write down and ask me and his dad ANY question. The questions will be in the journal and I (or his dad) will answer in the journal. That way they don’t have to sit and listen to me or my husband talk about the embarrassing topic. And if we typically have the daughters ask questions and the sons ask my husbands questions, but some families don’t have a choice. Some families only have a mom or dad, so this is definitely not a “must-have” rule.
Why go through this trouble?
Because I want my kids to have a godly view of intimacy. I want to protect my kids from scars of pornography and lies. I want to protect them from a sinful view of s*x outside of marriage. I want them to realize intimacy between a husband and wife is a beautiful thing —but only between a husband and wife.
I also want to help them to avoid the temptation of searching for body or s*x related answers on the internet. Research for a history project? Sure. Intimacy questions? No. Anyone can publish information. Just remember that. And an evil person trying to corrupt young minds will take extreme measures to spread wickedness.
I can’t protect my kids from all evil, but I can place many safeguards sprinkled with prayer throughout their years in my home.
I only get one chance to raise my kids. I refuse to wear a blindfold and believe my kids will never be tempted to read or view sinful material.
Why not help them avoid that temptation by encouraging them to ask parents any questions — no matter how embarrassing?
I also don’t want my kids learning the answer to their most personal questions from bad influences in their lives. I with I could rid the of every immoral influence, but it’s impossible. I can’t even rid them out of my life — though I try! But if I encourage them to ask anything — ANYTHING — then I think our family definitely has an advantage.
And you can always personalize this idea for your family. If you have a lot of kids, you can do question and answer box instead of journals. The point of this embarrassing journal idea is to encourage written conversation. Why? Because it’s less intimidating to communicate via writing instead of talking.
When using this journal idea, don’t hesitate to remind your kids about the journal every few days. This way the idea is constantly before them.
I would also encourage you to to ask your child if they want to keep the journal hidden or if they want questions and answers removed from the book or tossed once they are read. You don’t want to discourage your child from asking because they’re afraid someone will find the journal and read it. But some kids may prefer having a record of their embarrassing questions.
Take this journal idea and try it with your kids this week. It’s really up to you at what age you think would be appropriate for this idea. Each family and child is different. As an average, I encourage kids to ask embarrassing and personal questions when they are around 11 years old — but that’s my kids and my family.
Write and let me know if you and your kids tried this embarrassing question journal idea! Wishing you the best!
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