He said She Said–Relationship Problems During Pregnancy


“So, what are you going to name your baby boy?” your friend asks.

“Andrew Logan Smith,” you answer with a smile.

“Ahem. She meant to say, Jeremiah Logan Smith,” your husband pipes in.

Both of you exchange irritated glances. Your friend decides it’s best to stay out of this one.

But that is not the only disagreement you two have been having lately. It seems as if you are arguing the majority of your waking hours.

He wants Mexican for dinner, but Mexican gives you heartburn. You want the house at 70 degrees Fahrenheit so you can sleep better, but he wants it 72 degrees so the power bill will be cheaper. He wants you to have a natural childbirth without any pain relief medications. You want all the pain medication science has to offer!

The nine months of pregnancy can be a very stressful time in a marriage. Myriads of decisions have to be made and countless changes are being experienced. The last thing you need right now is to be at odds with your best friend, your companion in life, your prince!

“It is better to give than to receive” is a very popular saying–especially during the holidays. But, it is definitely applicable to marriage as well. The majority of people will advise you to “focus on yourself,” “put your needs first” and more self-centered sayings.

But, on the contrary, this will not bring you happiness, nor will it help your marriage. In fact focusing on your self will only serve to harm your marriage. Here are some tips to get you and your husband playing on the same team again:

  • Find a compromise. Don’t always insist on getting your way just because you are sporting the “bump.” Even though he is not pregnant, he still has hard days at work. Consider the stresses he faced today and ask him what he would like for dinner. Maybe you could find a less spicy dish on the menu at the Mexican restaurant. Putting others first really does bring you more joy!
  • Learn to say “Yes!” If your hubby asks you to go somewhere, but you don’t really want to go, try it anyway. Just you saying “Sure, let’s go there,” will brighten his day and he will enjoy your company even more.
  • Don’t dramatize things. Hormones are already on a roller coaster during pregnancy. Try to gain control of your emotions and curb the urge to make a slight infraction into a major
    dilemma. Maybe he forgot fix the bathroom sink—-again. Try to be understanding. Wives forget things too, especially during pregnancy. Instead of nagging him about it, try leaving a love note on the bed, his work desk, or his pants’ pocket. Notes kindly requesting help gain a man’s attention a lot quicker than a contentious, impatient woman.
  • Choose the right time to talk. If something is very pertinent to you, be patient for the perfect time to disclose the situation to your man. Don’t bombard him with the issue when he first comes in the door. Instead, wait until he has a full tummy and is relaxed. When all is quiet, calm and peaceful, let him know there is something you need to discuss with him. Timing can make the difference in an important decision.
  • Respect him. Men crave respect—sometimes more than intimacy. Make sure he gets all the respect he needs at home. People at the workplace may already respect him for his diligent work, his faithfulness or his position. Those are things you can respect him for too. Don’t be bashful about praising him when he has made a great accomplishment. Contrary to some ideas, he will not become proud and haughty from praise from his wife. In fact, quite the opposite is true. He will become more loving and respectful towards his wife. When a wife praises her husband, she is shining his armor, and in return he will be her prince!
  • Pray for him. It is amazing what God can do in your heart as well as your husband’s heart through prayer. Instead of pointing out your husband’s faults, pray about them. Don’t forget to ask God to add blessings to your husband’s life and increase his walk with the Lord. Don’t ever let anyone out-pray you when it comes to your hubby!
  • Kiss, love and hug! It is extremely tedious during pregnancy just to give out a smile. But, if a woman desires to keep her marriage relationship strong, she is willing to do the hard work. Don’t forget the importance of physical intimacy during pregnancy. Husbands and wives both need reassurance of love and affection. Neglecting your hubby during the nine months of baby growing will only prove to be detrimental in your marriage. Enjoy the blessings of your relationship. After all, this baby is a result of your love and affection! So cuddle up and watch your relationship grow. You may get to name your baby Andrew after all!
  • Remember God’s word. Above all else remember that what God’s instruction manual says, and follow the directions! In Tutus Chapter 2 God tells the older women to teach the younger women to love their husbands. He also tells women to teach the younger women to be obedient to their own husbands as well as telling wives to submit and reverence their husbands. When pondering upon the word of God, it is clearly seen that even in the smallest decisions and details of a woman’s life, she should be submissive to her husband’s desires. Trust in the Lord to help your marriage bloom. God is able to make your marriage a paradise on earth—even during pregnancy!

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