I Realized I Didn’t Like My Child
I finally confided in my husband the truth — I didn’t like my child.
I’m not exactly sure I put it in such a pointed way, but that was the gist of the conversation.
Without one word, my husband took me by the hand and led me to my child’s bedroom.
There, sound asleep and precious as ever, lay my child who had no idea the plethora of emotions that filled my heart and mind.
My husband scooped up that child and gently placed that miniature human being in my arms.
The precious warmness of that tiny sleeping creature began to melt my heart.
My husband then began naming all the wonderful characteristics about that child.
Sweet, caring — a beautiful mix of of my husband and me.
Hot tears began to trickle down my cheeks.
That child was wonderful, special, unique, priceless…mine.
How could this had happened?
How did I let myself become callous to my child?
My other children seemed so cute, fun and lovable, but this one?
This child had almost become an irritation.
I leaned over and kissed my child and asked God to forgive me for my lack of love and like.
It was only my fault that I didn’t like my child the past few days.
Without me realizing it, I was becoming selfish and thinking about all the inconveniences of motherhood, instead of the joys.
Those thoughts robbed me of affection, love and contentment in my motherhood journey and even drove me to dislike my very own child.
My. Very. Own. Child.
Has this ever happened to you?
It still pains me to recall this memory, but it’s a lesson I don’t ever want to forget.
And dear mom, it may not be every child that you find your heart pulling away from.
It may be the child who is more difficult to teach.
It may be the child who seems to say all the wrong things at all the wrong times.
But, mom, it’s up to you to keep your love for your children overflowing.
If you feel like your heart has inched away from one of your children, just take a few minutes and slip into your child’s bedroom tonight or early in the morning.
There’s something about the quietness of those non-rushed hours that helps you realize the blessing you have in each and every child.
Take a few quiet moments and look at your child and see him or her in a positive light.
Take those quiet moments to pray for that child and ask God to fill your heart once again with no just love, but like.
If you have a difficult child in your family, don’t expect your child’s attitude to change towards you — change your attitude towards your child.
I never want my kids growing up thinking, “My mom never really liked me.”
With every fiber of my being, I want my kids to say, “My mom was crazy about me when I was growing up — and she still is!”
Motherhood is not always picture perfect, but it is still an amazing experience and gift.
Take today and reevaluate your relationship with your kids.
If you think your heart is being turned away from one of your children, change that today.
Love that child.
Pray for that child.
Give thanks for that child.
Circumstances may not change, but you can choose to like your child again — even with all your child’s mess-ups and imperfections.
But hey, don’t we all have mess-ups and imperfections?
Let’s all guard our hearts against disliking our children and embrace our journey of motherhood with bundles of joy, grace and smiles!
Blessings to you on your motherhood journey!