I’m Sorry, Not Sorry, I Have Too Many Kids

Do I Have Too Many Kids?

“Just have one kid, Alison. It’s just the same as having five,” instructed one older lady.

But my heart’s response?

I’m sorry, not sorry, YOU think I have too many kids.

“Pitter patter! Pitter patter! Don’t believe it, Alison! One day those little kids will stomp all over your heart!” came a passionate warning from another concerned woman.

“Alison, you need to stop having kids!” came an exasperated reply from a family member after I suffered a miscarriage.

And those are from people I know.

These are things people actually said.

To. My. Face.

Sorry, Not Sorry, I Have "Too Many" Kids

Strangers are sometimes even more bold.

I guess because they never have to see my face or the confused looks on my children’s faces again.

“Boy, I bet it’s fun at your house!” sneered a complete stranger.

That smart alec moment was tossed in my direction as I was cuddling a sick 15 month old who had just flown over 22 hours of international flights.

She had just left a third world country that had different sounds, smells, and faces…and now was beyond exhaustion and in a totally unfamiliar place. Plus, she was in pain from a double ear infection that was just beginning (we found this out two days later!)

We were just trying to grab a few burgers and fries before we drove another two and a half hours to our house.

She was exhausted and crying.

But, the truth is, if I was in her shoes and didn’t understand why we were traveling so far, I’d be crying too.

She was a little trooper who needed understanding, hugs and patience…not a nasty, comment from a complete stranger.

Why Do People Think I Have Too Many Kids?

“Six kids? I’d die!” scoffed a woman in an elevator.

Instead of telling the woman I didn’t want her opinion, I looked at my crazy-wonderful kids.

Squeezing the tiny hands holding mine I leaned down and whispered “Let’s go grab an ice cream cone!”

“Better you than me,” Another woman relayed under her breath as she passed by.

I nodded in agreement as I headed to the fruit aisle where my kids helped weigh and bag their favorite fruits for the week.

Do people not have any mouth filters anymore?

Do people not care about the feelings of children anymore?

No child needs to hear nasty, unsolicited comments.

And I’ve got an entire list of words and phrases that moms of three or more kids are tired of hearing in another post.

You can read them here.

Does Our Society Look Down on Larger Families?

I truly wish I could press the mute button and silence all the negative, hurtful comments that my tiny humans hear.

But it’s almost comical — in some ways.

Our family of eight never feels like we have too many kids.

In fact we feel content and complete.

It’s actually a warm and fuzzy kind of feeling to be blessed in that way.

When only one person is missing we actually feel incomplete.

What provokes adults today to view other people’s children so negatively?

Why do they even care how much it costs to raise our kids?

What investment do these strangers and neighbors have in my kids?

Almost absolutely nothing.

I’m completely flabbergasted that a stranger would feel so “put out” just by seeing me raising some of the cutest human beings on the planet.

My husband and I pay for their education, food, toys, health care, birthdays, Christmases, piano lessons etc.

We don’t live on the government’s dime.

We sacrifice for our kids.

We give each one individual attention.

We Love Our Six Kids and Won’t Apologize for Having a Big Family

We teach them manners so they’re orderly in public.

We sacrifice our sleep when they’re ill, frightened from nightmares, or need to solve the world’s problems.

We’re training our six kids to be active, passionate, good-natured adults that will have loads of talent, kindness and intelligence to add to the future American society.

Shouldn’t people be supportive of that?

We’re truly living in a narcissistic society when children, innocent tiny people, are being viewed as annoying, nuisances.

What’s the typical response people show towards how many kids a family has?

  • One kid — that’s fine.
  • Two kids — still ok, but you should consider slowing down.
  • Three kids — Ok, stop already!
  • Four kids — are you crazy?!
  • Five or more — you should get your own reality TV show!

I’m Sorry, Not Sorry, I Have Too Many Kids

Is raising kids a ginormous task that requires faithfulness, a lifetime of sacrifices and tears of joy and sadness?


But — I’m sorry, not sorry that I have a lot of kids.

I know the sacrifice and dedication and yet, I’m more than glad to step up the the “mommy of many” plate.

In fact, I’m truly not sorry that I have “too many” kids.

I’m truly not sorry that I’ve chosen kids over a closet-full of designer purses and matching stilettos.

I’m truly not sorry that I chose six kids over vacationing in Hawaii or the Caribbean every single year.

Do You Encourage Moms of Four Or More Kids?

I’m fully aware of the sacrifices a husband and wife have to make to provide for a family of four, five, or six kids.

I’m fully aware they we need to drive older cars, constantly shop on the clearance rack, and keep a skinny budget during the holidays.

But I rarely think about it when our family is giggling during our own version of family charades.

I can’t help but feel like a billionaire when my entire clan of teens, tweens and elementary-aged kids are belting out our favorite songs in unison.

I don’t find myself drooling over clothes from SAKS Fifth Avenue when I see my teen son taking my seven-year-old shopping — just for fun.

I feel rich, completely happy and truly blessed when I look at my happy, well-mannered, well-rounded, servant-hearted kids.

So dear stranger, friend or family member who thinks that three, four, five or six kids is just “too many” I want to say this as kindly as possible…

Sorry — not sorry.

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