Ah! Moms are at it again — lying here, lying there, lying everywhere! I know some moms don’t intentionally mean to lie, but they still do. I have done it myself and thought, “Whoops! That’s not really true!” In fact, its all-so-common that naturally the thought arises, “Should moms lie to their kids?” Is it really that bad?
As moms, one of our main priorities in motherhood should be forming admirable character traits in each of our children. Don’t we all want honest kids? The majority of adults will say that honesty is super-important on the character list. However, I don’t want to teach my kids a character attribute that I don’t already exhibit in my own life — it’s hypocritical, ya know?
I honestly think many moms don’t consider their untruths are lies. I mean the word “lie” has so many negative, evil connotations. For instance, God hates a lying tongue. Surely He can’t hate my tongue when I continually tell harmless lies, right? I think that is where the problem really originates; we don’t view the untruths we speak as lies — they’re just twists and tweaks on reality.
Let me ask you a question. Has your spouse ever lied to you — even a small, tiny, lie? Has your mom ever lied to you? How did you feel? Cheated or betrayed? When we tell a lie, it doesn’t seem all that bad, but when someone lies to us — watch out! They’re in for it!
Lying is serious, and we should always strive to be honest in our family affairs, business affairs and even with our kids. Think about these all-so-common lies that I hear constantly!
You better be good or I am going to call 1-800-North Pole and tell Santa you need to be put on the bad list!
Take the medicine, it tastes like candy!
The shot won’t hurt sweetie, just close your eyes and hold my hand.
Tell Uncle Ben I’m not here. I don’t feel like talking.
If you cross your eyes, they will get stuck.
If you don’t come here now, i will leave you by yourself.
Babies come from large birds that fly around and drop them down to their special homes.
Obviously, with owning a website, I spend a good bit of time online researching parenting articles and websites. The articles on parents lying to kids are really revolting. Most writers want to convince you it’s ok. Why? Because they don’t want to cause a stir. They don’t want to make parents “feel bad” — or maybe I could call it responsible. Yes, we should “feel bad” when we have looked into our child’s eyes and knowingly, purposely told them a lie. They deserve to know and hear the truth as much as parents.
Do you know what happens when someone stands up and says, “You shouldn’t lie to your kids”? People begin accusing those parents of wrong-doing. Really! One recent article went as far as calling parents that say they don’t lie to their kids — guess what? They called them liars. Imagine! They said, “All parents lie to their kids.” I beg to differ.
Imagine how your child will feel when he realizes you have been lying to him about Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, shots, medicine and countless other things. Does he know you lie about your weight on your driver’s license? What about the time you told him to tell his teacher he was late to school because there was a lot of traffic that morning? When will it stop and when will he learn to trust your words as truth?
Almost all moms want their kids to be honest and truthful — even if it means claiming a misdeed. But, moms cannot begin to teach their children honesty until they live honestly in their own lives.
Yes, I know kids will ask embarrassing or extremely personal questions — but use you can answer those questions with truthful wisdom. Give them enough facts without lying. You don’t have to explain reproduction to a four-year-old when he asks how his baby sister got in your belly. Answer it truthfully and simple like, “God made a special way for babies to get in my tummy.” Leave it at that and finish the lesson when he is much older. Kids will enjoy having a close relationship with you because you have always proven to be an honest parent.
Why is it such a big deal for moms to be honest?
Let’s consider the reason behind a mom lying. Is it to have personal gain, to cover up mistakes, or to appear as someone they are not? Those are all self-serving reasons — and not one of them a good one for lying.
You know what? There are times when a person’s word is the only thing people can put their faith in. Sometimes there is no evidence to back up a false claim as well as no evidence to prove we are innocent. When that times comes in your life, you have no regrest for being honest at all times.
Dear mom, you need to stop the lying now. No matter how big or small, your lying effects you, your relationships and your children. How can we teach our kids to be honest if we lie? We can’t. Trust me when I say the truth will set you free!