“Just a SAHM? What a waste!”
I still remember those words stinging me when I was only 18.
Someone had asked about my future plans, and I shared my heart to be a stay-at-home wife…and hopefully after that, a stay-at-home mom.
But apparently that wasn’t good enough.
My heart is still saddened for moms who absolutely have to work outside the home.
Either their spouses want them to work outside the home, they’re a single mom or there’s no other way to get food on the table.
But, there are other women who can can afford to be a SAHM.
However, they’ve chosen to spend the largest chunks of their days investing their time outside the home.
Maybe they’re teaching a classroom full of kids.
Maybe they’re assisting the elderly.
Those are all honorable positions, but so is being a stay-at-home mom.
No one will tell the moms who are writing lesson plans they’re “wasting their life.”
So why tell a mom who dedicates the best years of her life to her husband and kids that she is?
I’m not here to start another mommy war or to put moms down who work outside the home, but I would like people to know what moms give up to be a stay-at-home mom.
I want them to see the sacrifices that are made daily in order to be ever-present in in the home.
Or, maybe they’re not really sacrifices at all?
Maybe they’re crazy wonderful perks that no one talks about!
What I Gave Up to be a Stay-at-home Mom
- Listening to curse words on a daily basis. It’s not very often I get to her curse words or God’s name taken in vain since I am with my children all day.
We don’t watch movies or shows where curse words are prevalent, so yes, my days are lacking the sound of those uneducated, ungodly words.
The strongest language that comes to my ears throughout the day consists of words like “shut-up” or “stupid” — even though those words are not allowed in our home!
- Facing rush-hour traffic. I spend my mornings getting breakfast cleaned up, kids dressed, and home-school activities planned.
I also have time to make beds and sweep and mop floors.
Once or twice a week I go to the grocery store and drive in the ever-so-slow 10 am traffic.
I don’t have to shop on Saturday or the evenings, so shopping is definitely more enjoyable!
- Having to leave sick kids at home. No one is expecting me to show up at 8 or 9 am every single morning.
When my kids have a fever, cold or sore tummy, I’m able to cuddle up with them, read them stories and give them popsicles.
I’ll be there to bingo watch Winnie the Pooh and eat chicken noodle soup until everyone’s on the mend.
- Handing over 75% of my paycheck to childcare. I have six kids, so child care would be an astronomical bill! As a stay-at-home mom, I get to keep my paycheck from my work-at-home business and use it to enrich the life of my family and others!
- Facing a hungry family at the end of a stressful day. Being a sahm enables me to plan my meals and be prepared when dinner comes.
Many times I make a big lunch (we batch cook often!) that we can eat for dinner so our evenings are less chaotic.
We can focus on an easy clean-up, fun time together as a family and a quiet evening.
We rarely buy fast food for our family when we’re not traveling.
There’s something special about having the entire family crowding around a table enjoying food you’ve prepared with your own hands.
- Loads of stranger’s germs. Since I stay at home with my family, I don’t come in contact with many people during the week.
That really cuts down on the germs I’m exposed too — and help keeps the doctor’s visits to a minimum too!
Definitely a money-saver!
- Only hearing about my child’s first steps and words. No one has to relay to me that my child said “bite” for the first time — because I heard it for for myself.
I was also there when she took her first step — and I even got it on camera!
Those precious moments will never be re-lived, but because I made the decision to stay-at-home, I have those experiences tucked away in my heart!
- Hearing about other people’s intimate lives. The workplace many times, unless you’re in a Christian atmosphere, is full of trashy talk — including intimacy details.
I have had personal friends joke and tell me that they knew about a co-worker’s intimate life.
And their co-worker?
It was a man.
That’s totally inappropriate and definitely can lead to sinful behavior. That’s one reason why may husband and I created five boundaries for our marriage. You may want to give those a read!
I’m glad that the majority of conversations I overhear are about whether or not Spiderman can actually climb walls.
Yeah, I can handle listening to that!
- Missing my husband’s holidays from work. Don’t you love it when your husband gets a holiday from work?
Being a stay-at-home mom means that when his holidays come, you take a holiday too.
You take the day to enjoy him and put everything else on hold.
Life’s too short not to enjoy those happy, fun moments together!
- Not being available to bail my husband out of a pinch. My husband knows if he forgets a tie, important papers or his lunch that he can call on me and I’ll bail him out.
He also knows if he needs a phone number or something ironed before he gets home, I’ll be there to get it done.
This is one of my favorite parts of being a stay-at-home mom.
I feel like my husband’s personal assistant — and I love being that!
I love that he knows he’s first in my life.
Before I became a work-at-home mom I had very little income that came in on a regular basis.
There were many difficult financial days, and yes, we weren’t able to take vacations or even shopping trips.
Christmas and birthdays were very simple with homemade cakes and a super small present like a jug of chocolate milk.
We made those sacrifices so that I could stay home.
But when I think of the other things I gave up to be a sahm — it doesn’t seem like such a big sacrifice after all!
Dear mom, if you want to stay at home and enjoy these blessings, why not check out these ways to make income from home — or these ideas on how to earn money from home right now.
And if you’re a stay-at-home mom and you’re in a rut, not thriving and lacking direction — here’s a heart-to-heart post that talks just about how to start thriving once again!
It’ll will help get you back on track and start loving the privilege of being a stay at home mom!
Have questions or comments about life as a sahm? Chat about it with me on Facebook!