You’ve probably heard that women should wait to announce they’re pregnant until after 13 weeks of pregnancy. I don’t. Never have. Never will.
I understand why people recommend you waiting. It’s the simple fact that the rate of miscarriage drastically decreases after 13 weeks of pregnancy. Their reason for waiting is so that moms won’t have to face people who have heard the pregnancy announcement after a miscarriage. And yes, that is tough. But…knowing those facts, I still don’t follow the rules.
I actually have TWO why’s when it comes to announcing pregnancy once it’s verified.
My first one is I am thrilled when I see the two pink lines move across the test result screen. I am jumping for joy inside and I can’t wait to share my news. Sure, I may take a few moments and conjure up a creative, fun way to tell my husband the good news, but everyone else? I want to share my happiness with them — now!
In fact, once I know I’m expecting another little one, my pregnancy begins to consume my thoughts. I can’t help eyeing the newest baby products and outfits without grinning from ear to ear. Plus, I don’t want to have to come up with some lame excuse to why I’m not super perky on a very queasy morning sickness day.
If I don’t tell my family and friends, I feel like I’m hiding an important secret, and I don’t ever want to hide things. I like to be open and transparent. I like to offer people what I want in life — an honest, truthful friend.
My other reason is I have had many miscarriages and they hurt. They hurt physically and emotionally. They require grieving and recovery. They are difficult, dark times in a mom’s life. However, if no one knows about the pregnancy, no one can take part in your grief.
If you’ve never suffered a miscarriage, then you may not know that you can be in the house recovering for several days. You also may not know that there is a lot of pain involved. And no matter how much you try, your emotions will be out of whack and some days it will be difficult to go through your simple, daily routine
Why is that such a big deal?
If people understand your situation, they will be more sensitive, understanding. You can also find understanding from friends and family about why you’re in the bed for a few days or grieving. Otherwise, they’ll wonder why you’re out of sorts.
I have met friends who said that they knew moms who suffered miscarriages and pushed people away — but that’s not what we need to do. People will only truly understand what it’s like to walk through a miscarriage if women are willing to open up and share their experiences with others. If you want to read an upclose, personal story about miscarriage, you can read mine here.
Also, I think that somewhere deep inside moms sometimes feel that if they announce their pregnancy before 13 weeks, they may have a miscarriage. It’s almost a superstitious thought that creeps in and makes a mom hold her breath until week 14 comes up on her calendar. I hope this post will help some of those moms see that announcing your pregnancy BEFORE 13 weeks will not increase your chance of miscarriage. I announced six pregnancies before week 13 and all those babies are super-healthy kids today!
If I ever bring another life into this world, my pregnancy announcement will be before 13 weeks. And if I have to walk through another miscarriage, my family and friends will know that as well.
What are your thoughts? Are you cautious about announcing your pregnancy before 13 weeks? Share your opinion with me on social media!