“Doesn’t the Bible say that all men are created equal?” asked a family member one time. In case you’re wondering, no, it does not. Nor should anyone ever think that men or kids are created equal. Nor should kids be treated like they are equal.
In our large family, we have four girls and two boys. And you know what? Not one single pair of them are the same. Some are stronger, faster, smarter, sweeter or funnier than the others. Some are tall and some are short. Some have a natural aptitude for music, and others don’t. No, my kids are not created equal — and neither are yours. So please don’t ask me to compare them.
Many times I have been asked these questions:
“Which child is the most difficult?”
“Who is the trouble-maker?”
That’s really not a fair question — and it’s not fair to my kids.
One child, in particular, gets so much praise from other adults.
“Wow, she’s so smart.”
“You have a little Einstein on your hands.”
“Your daughter is very intuitive.”
And, yes she is. I am very thrilled at her abilities, but many times her abilities shine so much that people overlook the quieter child who has so much to offer. One daughter is a social butterfly, the other one would rather find a corner of the room and read a book. One daughter loves to write stories for hours, and the other one would rather talk or baby-sit for hours. They’re completely different, but they both have so many qualities to make this earth a more beautiful place.
When it comes to the realm of parenting, we should strive not to compare our children in a negative way, but to celebrate, sharpen and encourage them to use their differences in a positive, productive way.
Homeschooling six different kids with six different personalities and talents is a journey in itself. We have to use varying approaches. Some of my kids do better with other kids around. But one child needs almost complete silence in order to concentrate and trudge through daily lessons.
Chores? A few of our kids want to know what they are before it’s time to do chores so they can get them done early. Some of them take great satisfaction in knowing their chores were completed well. Others? They drag and whine through every single chore.
As moms, we have to be sensitive to our children’s differences. Expecting them all to be straight A students, or excel in sport, or be skilled in music is unrealistic and damaging. Let’s help them in areas where they’re weak and let them soar where they’re strong.
As moms, we need to pay attention to how our children learn, which strengths and weaknesses they possess and what they truly enjoy or despise. Knowing this information will help us love them, encourage them and raise them more efficiently.
Kids also respond to discipline differently. Some may only need a stern rebuke, but other kids may need to lose privileges etc. to learn to avoid the bad behavior they have displayed.
Let’s take time to love our kids for their differences, their strengths and even their weaknesses. The sooner we learn to appreciate that they are not all created equal, the sooner we can learn the best way to relate to them in their differing obstacles of life.
What about you, dear mom? Have you ever thought your kids should act, learn or play the same? When did you realize your kids were completely different and should be parented in various ways as well. Share your thoughts with us on Facebook!
