Want to know the crazy reason your kids should not come first in your life? Come have a seat on my couch and let’s chat — mom to mom, wife to wife, friend to friend.
“My kids comes first in my life.”
“I am so busy with the kids I have little time for marriage stuff. That can wait until the kids are older.”
“My babies need my attention, so I am going to devote it all to them during their childhood.”
These comments sound familiar?
If someone asked you what is priority in your life, what would your answer be? Your honest answer?
It is admirable when a woman relinquishes a lucrative career to stay-at-home full-time with her kiddos. Many people notice her devotion to her children. For some kids, it’s a far off dream — to have a mother who primarily focuses on her child’s well-being. If you are one of those mothers that have chosen to revolve their lives around their kid’s happiness, that is well-worthy of praise. But, stop and think.
Are you too focused on the kids?
Let’s rewind the time. Before those beautiful, blue-eyed cherubs entered your life, what or who was the main focus of your life?
Yep. You remember. It was that man that made you nervous. It was that handsome, chiseled-featured guy that made you forget anyone else existed. You were always thinking about him and one day he did what every girl dreams Mr. Right will do. He got down on one knee, and in that masculine voice of his asked the most beautiful four words ever known to woman:
“Will you marry me?”
So…there was life before kids, wasn’t there? In fact, children were probably the farthest thing from your love-filled mind. All you cared about was being this man’s wife. The thoughts of never having to say good-bye at night consumed you with happiness. Knowing you were going to be called “Mrs. Jones” instead of Sarah Smith was just icing on the cake.
Your hubby was in love too. He bought you flowers and chocolate “just because.” He would leave work early just to get home and spend time more with you. Everyone remarked how “happy” he seemed since you two got married. But what about now?
Yes, your kids should be super important in your life! They need a mom who devotes loads of attention and love to them. They need a mom to listen to their heartaches and victories. But, they also need a mom who is desperately in love with their dad.
Kids who view their parents showing love and affection to one another have a better sense of security. They aren’t worried that the family is going to break apart at any moment. Instead of hearing their parents incessantly bicker, they hear praise and encouragement.
Not only do the kids need you to focus on your hubby more, your main man does. Men will not walk around and pout because he’s not your main focus. Instead, they may walk out the door and never come back. Ever. Then, you will be alone, miserable and have children that are living in a broken home. However, if you devote most of your love and energy into your marriage, happy kids will follow your lead. Just test this theory and see!
You only have your kids under your wings for a short span of time. Focus on their needs and desires. But, one day those little munchkins will grow up, spread their wings and begin a life of their own.
When the kids are gone, guess who is left by your side to hold you as you experience “empty nest syndrome?” Guess who will be there to share in the excitement of your very first grandchild?
A woman’s life should follow the pyramid of God first, husband second, kids third and then other people and ministries. If at any time these become out of place, problems are inevitable. Make the change today and focus more on your hubby’s needs and then your precious treasures!