The Crazy Reason Kids Should Not Come First in Your Life

Want to know the crazy reason your kids should not come first in your life? Come have a seat on my couch and let’s chat — mom to mom, wife to wife, friend to friend.

“My kids comes first in my life.”

“I am so busy with the kids I have little time for marriage stuff. That can wait until the kids are older.”

“My babies need my attention, so I am going to devote it all to them during their childhood.”

These comments sound familiar?

the crazy reason why kids should not come first in your life

If someone asked you what is priority in your life, what would your answer be? Your honest answer?

It is admirable when a woman relinquishes a lucrative career to stay-at-home full-time with her kiddos. Many people notice her devotion to her children. For some kids, it’s a far off dream — to have a mother who primarily focuses on her child’s well-being. If you are one of those mothers that have chosen to revolve their lives around their kid’s happiness, that is well-worthy of praise. But, stop and think.

Are you too focused on the kids?

Let’s rewind the time. Before those beautiful, blue-eyed cherubs entered your life, what or who was the main focus of your life?

Yep. You remember. It was that man that made you nervous. It was that handsome, chiseled-featured guy that made you forget anyone else existed. You were always thinking about him and one day he did what every girl dreams Mr. Right will do. He got down on one knee, and in that masculine voice of his asked the most beautiful four words ever known to woman:

“Will you marry me?”

So…there was life before kids, wasn’t there? In fact, children were probably the farthest thing from your love-filled mind. All you cared about was being this man’s wife. The thoughts of never having to say good-bye at night consumed you with happiness. Knowing you were going to be called “Mrs. Jones” instead of Sarah Smith was just icing on the cake.

Your hubby was in love too. He bought you flowers and chocolate “just because.” He would leave work early just to get home and spend time more with you. Everyone remarked how “happy” he seemed since you two got married. But what about now?

Yes, your kids should be super important in your life! They need a mom who devotes loads of attention and love to them. They need a mom to listen to their heartaches and victories. But, they also need a mom who is desperately in love with their dad.

Kids who view their parents showing love and affection to one another have a better sense of security. They aren’t worried that the family is going to break apart at any moment. Instead of hearing their parents incessantly bicker, they hear praise and encouragement.

kids should not come first in your life

Not only do the kids need you to focus on your hubby more, your main man does. Men will not walk around and pout because he’s not your main focus. Instead, they may walk out the door and never come back. Ever. Then, you will be alone, miserable and have children that are living in a broken home. However, if you devote most of your love and energy into your marriage, happy kids will follow your lead. Just test this theory and see!

You only have your kids under your wings for a short span of time. Focus on their needs and desires. But, one day those little munchkins will grow up, spread their wings and begin a life of their own.

When the kids are gone, guess who is left by your side to hold you as you experience “empty nest syndrome?” Guess who will be there to share in the excitement of your very first grandchild?

A woman’s life should follow the pyramid of God first, husband second, kids third and then other people and ministries. If at any time these become out of place, problems are inevitable. Make the change today and focus more on your hubby’s needs and then your precious treasures!

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17 thoughts on “The Crazy Reason Kids Should Not Come First in Your Life”

  1. Nici ~ Posed Perfection

    Hi Alison! I just wanted to stop by and thank you for visiting Posed Perfection today and leaving me a sweet comment about the Chocolate Cutout Cookies. I cannot imagine what it must be like to not have an oven. You must be very creative in the kitchen! We lived in a hotel for about 6 months while my husband was in training for a job. We had a toaster oven and a microwave, and I was able to figure out things to make. Anyway, I am so thrilled you stopped by. I hope you’ll visit again and I look forward to following your blog to see all that the Lord does in your life as you and your family faithfully serve Him.
    Blessings,
    Nici

    1. Dear Nici,
      How sweet of you to stop by!
      I luv those cookies! I told my hubby about them:0)

      The Lord has helped me come up with alternative ways to “bake” things. I am thankful that I have been put in, what I consider, a bind at times, because it is there that I learn to think outside the box.

      I hope we can stay in touch!

      Alison

  2. Hi Allison,
    This is all so true. I hope a lot of people read it. My kids are now grown, but when they are young you can get caught up in the day to day stuff of kids. My husband and I always had a date night once a week, even if it was at home. What I found is that he became my best friend, and we have so much fun together. Kids are only with you at home for a while. The relationship with your husband is forever. It’s important to keep that in mind.

    Thanks so much for sharing at Wednesday’s Adorned From Above Blog Hop.
    Debi and Charly @ Adorned From Above
    Marci @ Stone Cottage Adventures
    Nichi @ The Mandatory Mooch

    1. This means a lot coming from a mom that has already raised her children and seen the positive effects of putting the hubby first. Thanks for the encouragement!

  3. Sylvia at Sylvia's Stitches

    Such a well written post. Good thoughts and true too.
    Thank you for sharing at Funday Monday!
    Sylvia

  4. Wow, great read this morning…. just what I needed. Thanks so much for sharing at Nap-Time Creations Tasteful Tuesdays…. Hope to see you back in future weeks. Emily

  5. I agree! If your relationship with your husband is not strong, then your parenting will suffer. That relationship is the example for your child’s present and future relationships. It seems like there is a huge fad going on called child-directed parenting. I don’t think it is good for the child or the parents.

    1. Oh, Tulip I think you are quite observant! It is very sad to see how children are being raised today. Parents are afraid to say “No” nowadays and we are raising a bunch of narcissistic children. I thank the Lord for Christian moms out there that desire to raise their children the Bible way–even in this day and time!
      Thanks for visiting!

  6. Hi! Thanks for linking up with my Marriage Monday series. THis is a fabulous post! It is so true! Yet so hard to live out when you have many young children!! Thanks for this excellent reminder and challenge!!

    1. It is harder to make time for each other after many kids enter the picture. My hubby and I plan dates as much as possible to keep our relationship strong. Even if it is a date night at home. We also put our kids to bed at 8 p.m. to ensure we get a little quiet to unwind every night. this turns out to be a blessing to all of us so mommy, daddy and kids ar all refreshed and ready to go the next day!

  7. I agree – the best thing we can give our children is a strong, healty God-focused marriage!
    Thanks for sharing with us!
    Stacey of Embracing Change

  8. Christine @ African Babies Don't Cry

    Balance is a tricky thing, finding the balance between work and spending time with your kids, finding the balance between your hubby and the kids. I believe you are correct in saying if your marriage is happy, happy kids will follow, but there are so many other factors nowadays aren’t there? :)

    Thanks for linking up with the Tuesday Baby Link-Up!

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