Do Kids REALLY Need Socialization from Daycare, Child Care Centers and School?

This is definitely a hot topic among parents today. Do our kids need socialization from child care centers and special schools or can they learn the needed social skills at home?

socialization and kids

I have six pint-sized treasures that the Lord has blessed me with over the past 11 years. Four of my children have been home-schooled their entire life and two of them are still toddlers and stay at home with me, their full-time mom.

Before I became a mom, I knew I wanted to home-school and I knew I wanted to stay at home with my children. Why would I want someone else savoring those memories of my baby’s first word, first laugh or fist step? No, I wanted to experience all those new milestones and joys with my little ones.

As my little ones began to grow, well-meaning people came to me and asked,

“Don’t you think Joshua should spend a little time in day-care for some socialization? You don’t want him to grow up acting backwards.”

I kindly responded with something like this:

“Joshua is one of the happiest babies I know. He hardly ever cries, enjoys playing with kids at church and loves his family. I think he enjoys being at home with me and I enjoy being at home with him!”

Another mom mentioned to me while we were on a play-date together the following:

“My friends are really pressuring me to try to put my two kids in daycare once or twice a week so they can get to know other kids. What do you think, Alison?”

First of all, your kids need YOU, the mother. They need their father too, but they need a constant presence to guide, take care of and love them throughout the day. Daddies have to work outside the home to provide for the family, so naturally the mother would be the one to offer this care at home.

I have worked at several day-care centers before I got married. Some were more upscale and some were in poorer neighborhoods. In all of these child centers and day-cares, one thing stuck out about 75% of the kids. They were hungry for love and attention. Day care workers, child care centers, and school teachers do not have the natural love that you have for your child. Some of them are caring and kind, but some are only trying to get a paycheck. I know. I worked in many of them.

However, God has given you a natural, innate love for your offspring. A love that wants the best for your child. A love that desires your child to be healthy and happy.

If you are concerned about socialization issues, consider this:

Do you go to church? If you attend on a regular basis, your kids are undoubtedly interacting, socializing and having fun with the other kids that attend.

Do you have any friends that have children? Try to meet up once a week together for outings or just play time and snacks at each other’s homes.

There are many home-school programs across America. Some are more active than others. Some are just getting together once or twice a month for a field trip while others meet weekly and share academic responsibilities. Ask around and see what is available in your neck of the woods.

Remember that your child is a blessing from the Lord and it is our job as their parents to be a good steward of these gifts. One day we will be required to give an account to God for how we treated these gifts.

Don’t give in to peer pressure to “socialize” your child. By staying home with your kids, you are providing them an environment where they are learning about God, loving their family and being loved by their family. This is the best learning environment for children. Your child is socializing–and he is socializing with the ones that love him most in this world!

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20 thoughts on “Do Kids REALLY Need Socialization from Daycare, Child Care Centers and School?”

  1. Very nice! I think that children do need healthy interaction from other children, but daycare for the sake of daycare? I have never heard of such a thing!

  2. Again, I agree with this one 100%. We started a home preschool 2 years ago and it has effected my children’s personalities and behavior, but not for the good. In fact, I think it is damaging to have too many children “socializing” with large groups of their same age. Mostly, they just pick up the behavior of the worst child and are very excited all the time. I think that children will learn to socialize correctly hanging out with adults and other older children who are well behaved. We don’t take too many children that are the same age anymore. Thanks for sharing this!

  3. Hi There Allison. I made my way over here from Grow your Blog linky. I totally agree with you. I have 6 children myself…One of which I homeschool and one of which goes to Public school, (the others are too young to go to school) …But anyways they were the nicest, most polite, sweetest kids ever..UNTIL I sent them to Public school! they have learned to back mouth me, lie to me and steal from me and I believe it was all because I did send them to Public school! If I could have looked ahead…I would have never sent them!!!!!
    BTW…I followed you…could u follow me back…Thanks :)
    http://bigfamilymama.blogspot.com/

    1. Hi Jolene,
      I visited your blog and am now following via Twitter. Thanks for the invite.
      I will be praying the Lord helps you with your kiddos. The Lord can still change their hearts, even though they have been effected by those around them. I will also pray the Lord gives you wisdom and this area and the strength to do what is right. Thanks for following and commenting!

  4. Great post! My husband and I are planning to homeschool our kids when they are old enough. My husband was homeschooled through high school and loved it. I was public schooled (except 1 year I was homeschooled, that’s how we met) and hated it (public school). SO we are agreed on home schooling. And I think it is crazy that so many people believe the myth that you can’t home school your kids or even stay at home with them without them being anti-social. Since when are siblings not socialization? And there are plenty of other ways to socialize without giving them over for someone else to watch them with other kids. We are fortunate that the homeschool community in our area is great so thereare plenty of other kids to socialize with.
    I would love it if you would share this (and anything else you have been working on) at my party! http://domesticrandomness.blogspot.com/2013/01/friday-fascinations-9-everything-linky.html

    1. Thanks for visiting and commenting. Home-schooling is another great opportunity to create a close-knit bond with your kids. Glad you plan on doing it in the future. It isn’t easy, but almost anything worth doing isn’t! And yes, there are so many ways other than school to get your kids socialized. I am not worried about it in the least:)
      Alison

  5. This is what I needed to hear today! My husband and I are just talking about homeschooling just this week for our almost 3 year old and 1 year old. Have some time to sort through things before we start but I love hearing stories like this – will be following you from now on

    1. Dear Lisa,

      So glad this post helped you! Some things are hard to write, as I do not want to offend people, we all need truth! Thanks for following me and I hope to be able to encourage you in the future:)

      Loving Motherhood,
      Alison

  6. Christine @ African Babies Don't Cry

    I totally agree with this, I believe that before of three a child only needs the company of his parents, and thereafter playdates etc suffice for ‘socialization’ :)

    I’ve featured you on this weeks Tuesday Baby Link-Up!

  7. This is so tragic and awful. Just goes to show you that no one will care for your baby as good as you do. child development centre

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  11. Great post as always. My mother-in-law is one of those people, who always pressures me, that I should let my kids to socialize more and put them in kindergarten, but she has started to see also that most of the kids, who go to daycare and kindergarten act quite bad compared to my children. And I always hear the same things from other moms and dads:”Since I put my child into daycare he has become very hard to handle, has become violent and says a lot of bad words” I understand that many moms can’t stay at home with their children, but if I have that possibility then why should I force them to go into that environment where they need to “fight for their survival”.
    I also just decided I will be homeschooling my kids and I’m a little preoccupied about what people have to say, we have a little familybusiness, a shop where I work some days of the week and I keep my children with me and I know clients will be asking about why they aren’t at school a nd that frightens me a little especially cause here in Italy homeschooling is not so common yet as in America. But I know I can’t let an opinion of someone to stop me from giving my kids what’s best for them!

    Lots of love,
    Marilyn

  12. Totally agree. I don’t believe in the socialization myth. I feel so sad for these kids. Most kids I know go to daycare. It’s a crazy idea to think that this is what’s normal. I was pressured to do so. Thank God I never fell into that trap. I feel so blessed to be with my baby everyday. I can’t be apart from him for very long. Ii think moms who put their kids in daycare don’t realize what they are missing. My child learn the best from adults or older kids.

  13. I agree, I work part time to help make ends meet but I will be able to stay home in February. I have a one year old and though we could take him to daycare my mother-in-law comes over to watch him. I know no one loves him like my husband and I but boy his granny is amazing. We also meet with my friend who has a one year old for playdates every two weeks, in addition to going to the nursery for church. He is great with other children and he’s gaining so much experience and confidence at home.

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