Who doesn’t love a chick flick, right? I mean, my husband can even be persuaded (without too much arm bending) to watch some chick flicks. But, have you ever thought about the lies that our favorite romantic movies tell wives?
Sure, they are entertaining, funny, sweet, and completely fictional. And sometimes they even touch on important life subjects like love and conflict. But let’s be honest, there is also a lot of unreality in romantic movies that can cause real life wives major disappointment.
This real-life disappointment can be seriously detrimental to your marriage. Wives, we have to be careful when we watch our “chick flicks”. We have to guard our hearts — even when we’re reading romantic novels or watching a favorite Hallmark movie!
Maybe you’ve never considered the lies that are told and taught throughout those movies. But, if you’ll give me a few minutes of your time, I would love to ponder on a few with you — well actually seven.
7 Lies Romantic Movies Teach Wives
- The wedding is the happy ending. The wedding day is one short, though important, day in the life of your relationship. Romantic movies depict two hours of nail biting (or belly laughing) conflict ending in a fairy tale wedding and the idea that everyone lives happily ever after. In fact, the wedding is just the beginning of the journey of marriage.
- Marriage is just about love. Before I got married I received some sound advice from a couple who mentored me. They said, “Marriage is not about love, it’s about commitment.” This sounded harsh at the time, but I see their words were wise. Love springs out of commitment, but without commitment as a foundation there is no safety for true love to grow. It isn’t being “in love” that will get you through the ups and downs, it’s commitment.
- Feelings are what matter most. A prince and a maid. A millionaire and a school teacher from the other side of the tracks. Romantic movies lead us to believe that if your feelings are strong enough, love will always win out. Movies rarely take into account the realities that come when one marries unwisely. Marrying someone who does not share your faith, your values, or your vision for the future will be a rocky road — at best.
- All men should be romantic. Some men are romantic in grand gestures, some men are romantic in words, and some men are romantic in their devotion to their family. Perhaps they don’t bring a dozen roses or surprise you with a weekend getaway, but that doesn’t make them a sub par husband. Many wives are disappointed not because their husbands make them unhappy, but because they feel their marriage doesn’t live up to a cinematic example. If your husband loves you, is faithful, and works to meet your needs, that is the most romantic thing you can ask for!
- Lying and deception are not a big deal. How many story lines of romantic movies feature one or both people cheating, lying, and covering up? Too many! Deception in relationships is not something to be laughed over or brushed under the rug — even in a funny scene. Truth and trust are key foundational elements in a marriage. If those are absent before there’s a ring on the finger, then don’t expect them afterwards.
- “The One.” If you’re already married, it’s wise to think of your spouse as “the one.” Anything else will bring you major heartache and grief. Romantic movies portray current spouses and lovers swept aside for a new romance in the name of “the one” as a good thing. What happens if “the one” lets you down? Do you move on until you find “the one?” If you’ve married and committed to your spouse before God, then you’ve already found “the one.”
- Happily Ever After.The better truth would be “happily some days after.” Because the reality is this: life, marriage included, is hard. There will be trials, difficulties, and seasons of lack. Those are not signs that something is wrong, but a sign you are human. A former pastor used to say that the marriage relationship can be both the best and the worst thing that has ever happened to you. Iron sharpens iron, but sharpening is not a massage! If you think of your marriage as a journey and not a destination, you’ll see the positive, support the other person, and not run for the hills when you are no longer feeling happy.
Wives and moms, let’s be honest and consider the truth instead of blindly believing the lies that romantic movies teach. Try to remember that the wedding day is only the beginning of a journey of love that — if you commit to and work hard for — will result in abundant happiness. But it’s not always princesses and chocolates. Wouldn’t that be nice?
Rachel is a non-profit marketer turned stay-at-home-mom. She’s had 4 kids in 3 years on three continents and loves almost every minute. Seeing her “job” as a blessing, adventure, and delight she writes on parenting and motherhood, offering practical tips and encouragement. Get a copy of her free report 25 Sanity Saving Tips for Moms here.
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