There are some bad moms out there. No joke. But, do you think you’re a bad mom?
I have had moments when I felt like I was failing at this motherhood thing. I love, love LOVE being a mom, but there are moments when I begin to think, “Wow. I’m a bad mom.”
I know lots of people who know me in real life would probably giggle right now because it’s the tiniest of things that send my mind spiraling intp the “you might be a bad mom if” area.
Today I would like to get a little bit more personal with you and share those “you might be a bad mom if” moments. Maybe you have those too? And you may be very surprised by this list, because I am not a yelling, work-centered mom. My husband says I have patience of steel, but I’m not so convinced of that — wink, wink!
Without further adieu, here is my “you might be a bad mom if..” list. I’m sharing this with you to hopefully encourage you that there are times when we all — I mean all — of us feel like a bad mom, even if we love our kids and our motherhood journey.
You Might Be a Bad Mom If…
- You can’t homeschool all your children. I have six kids. One, two, three, four, five six. It’s a lot, I know, but I really, really love having this many kids! I don’t recommend it for everyone, but o ur family feels complete with six. However, home-schooling six kids is an entirely different story. Last year my husband had to get involved with the homeschooling because I had not been able to keep up with home-schooling all six. I had health issues and wasn’t getting anything else done, and even struggling just to complete a school day before 4 pm. I still feel like a failure in this area and will continue to because I had always dreamed of homeschooling every single one of them. But, I trust our family is making the right decision — at times. At other times, I feel like I should wear the “bad mom” crown. Sigh.
- Your seven-year-old can’t tie her shoe. Ack! We bought my daughter her first pair of tennis shoes with laces since her toddler days. For the past four years, we have been living in a tropical, third world country and she lived in flip flops and crocs. Now, we’re gearing up for fall and I realize I never taught her to tie her shoes. I completely forgot about it! Total mom fail.
- Your kids don’t practice piano 30 minutes a day — every single day. My four oldest kids are all taking piano lessons. I am paying for them to learn this majestic sounding instrument, but I constantly forget to ensure they are practicing 30 minutes a day — every single day. Plus — this is a double failure because I have been a piano teacher myself! And you know what? I chose to have someone else teach them because I knew we would all stick to our weekly lessons if someone else was doing the teaching. I think I’ll go hide in the corner and wear the cone of shame now.
- Your son’s socks are mismatched for three nights in a row. Recently, our family was in a missions conference. Three nights in a row — I kid you not — my husband smiled and pointed at my five-year-old’s socks. Yep. He was all dressed up in khakis, a shirt and tie, but was sporting one gray and blue sock on one foot and a green and blue sock on the other one. Three nights, people. REALLY?? You would think this wouldn’t happen three nights in a row, but it did. I told you this was personal!
- You plan a super-fun birthday party only to completely mess up the party plans. Good thing this party was only for our family. Just a month ago I had a very fun party planned for my daughter. We were going to spend the evening at a local bounce house place and then enjoy her favorite pizza for dinner. My husband and I picked up the kids from piano lessons, grabbed their favorite socks and headed to the indoor bounce house establishment. As we pulled into the parking lot, the kids erupted into excited giggles. Lots of the kiddos were happily skipping as we entered the store. I happily went to the check-in counter, but the lady looked at me and blurted out, “Sorry, but we close in 20 minutes.” WHAT?! I had double checked the store hours a few nights ago. But, or course, had done the only hair-brained thing to do. I looked at the wrong day. On that super-fun party night, they closed two hours earlier than normal. Everyone’s face fell and I knew I had topped the mom fail of all mom fails. Yep. That definitely made the “you might be a bad mom if…” list!
- Your child thinks he’s lost. Once again, our family was on an outing. We were enjoying the Smithsonian and I got caught up with the beautiful stone and rock jewelry. As I was choosing which bracelet to buy as a souvenir, I hear my son loudly break into sobs. Huh? He was just right here! I turn around and see him about five feet from me, but he didn’t see me. Soon enough there was a crowd of concerned moms and kids asking him what was wrong. “I can’t find my mom!” he frantically whimpered. We immediately brought him back to us and yet another monumental mess-up was added to my “bad mom” list.
- Your totally forget your child’s special dietary needs. My daughter has to stay on a strict gluten free diet. I try to keep her stocked with goodies, healthy snacks and small picnic meals when we have fun outings scheduled or visit friends and relatives. But, on more than one occasion I have forgotten until it was too late. Sometimes I was at a speaking engagement and they were serving lasagna or pizza. Another time, it was a party. And as soon as I saw the food, I remembered my lack of planning for her special diet. So, she would place a few pieces of fruit or a small salad on her plate. If we were at a fast food restaurant, she had to eat large fries and ice cream once again. Not healthy options, but at least she’s not allergic to them.
- Your son has a money throwing party. Totally happened to me. I was with my son in one of my favorite stores. My baby shower for his little sister was just a month away. I hurriedly registered for the baby register and began to hurriedly scan all my “must have” baby items. As I became more focused on baby shower gifts, I became less aware of my son’s actions. When I glanced back at him I saw he had my wallet. He had dug into my purse, snatched date wallet, zipped it open and threw all my cash into the floor below. And that day, I just happened to have my husband’s college tuition money in my purse. I managed to find $40 of it, but the rest was history. Now that deserves a glittering crown!
But you know what? Even though my bad mom list goes on and on, my kids still wrap their arms around me and call me sweet pet names like “Mommyrino” and “Mee-Maw.” They still surprise me with scavenger hunts (just yesterday they did this) that end up with sweet homemade coupons for drinks, extra chores and baby-sitting the youngest kids. They even put notes under my door that say I’m the best mom ever.
Dear sweet mom, if you’re feeling like you can write your own seemingly unending, “you might be a bad mom if” list, then take a moment and recollect on the hero your child thinks you are. You see, they see our failures and our bad mom moments, but that only teaches them that we all struggle, forget things and even miss the mark day after day.
It’s not an excuse to stop trying to be the best mom we can be, but it’s just a reminder that our kids can and will love us even when we feel like total failures. It’s also a reminder that all moms have those “bad mom” moments. And if we stay focused on those mom fails, then we won’t desire to move on and learn from our mistakes.
Do you have a “you might be a bad mom if…” list? Share yours with us!
Oh, and by the way — the fourth night of that missions conference, my son was wearing the most adorable pair of matching gray socks — wink, wink! Lesson learned!
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