Dear Wife Who Wants to Leave,
Emotions are flaring right now.
Your husband seems oblivious to the world that’s caving in all around you.
The responsibilities that are thrown on you seem unending.
You only see one solution.
But is this really the answer to your problems?
Most people never see the behind-the-scenes life of your home. Maybe a few close friends and family members, but other than that, no one else does.
Maybe you’re struggling in your marriage today. Maybe you’ve contemplated packing your bags, shutting the door and never looking back.
Would you be willing to stay if I told you your home could be transformed?
I will promise you this…no matter what the situation, it is not IMPOSSIBLE.
But God…He is more powerful than your marriage situation. He is more loving, forgiving and patient than our minds and hearts can perceive.
And if you walk out that door, you will damage your family even more.
If you think life’s difficult now, walking away from your family will only crush and demolish the semi-happy fragments that remain.
Happy homes don’t exist in fairy tales, but they do exist in real families like yours.
About a month ago I wrote a very personal letter to my email subscribers. That’s the group that I talk to on a very personal level. That’s the group that I pray for and stay in touch with. So, yes, that’s the group I pour my heart out to.
In a very personal letter I wrote to the wife that wanted a divorce.
And do you know what happened?
I was getting email after email from women who were at that very point in their life.
And yes, most of them are Christians. Most of them are moms — just like you.
Don’t think you’re the only one who has packed her bags and seriously considered walking out the door and never coming back.
But, dear friend who is underneath a world of confusing emotions, don’t believe the lie.
Walking away does not heal all things.
Walking away does not make your husband change.
Walking away does not give your children a better life.
Maybe your husband is uncaring.
Maybe he has a short temper.
Maybe he doesn’t appreciate you.
But, there is a better way.
There is an answer.
Now, I do feel like I need to add a disclosure here for women who are in a truly abusive situation. If you need help for the sake of your life or your children, then yes, go find that help. Find housing somewhere else until you can return to a safe environment. But, again…I am talking about a truly, life-endangering, abusive situation.
For the other ladies whose lives are not in immediate danger, I ask you this one thing.
Take your situation to God and leave it there.
Then, do your part in the family to create a happier home.
I’m not saying that this crazy, mixed-up life you’re living is all your fault. But I am saying God is able to use you to change it.
Don’t you want a more loving marriage?
Don’t you want a more peaceful home?
Then you have to at least try.
And by try, I mean really, really try.
Dear Wife Who Wants to Leave
Where do you start?
First, grab out your wedding books and pictures of some happy memories of your family. If you have your marriage vows, re-read them. Take time to soak in the past commitments you’ve made to your spouse, and to your children.
Then, grab out your baby books. Any records of the happy moments you’ve had with your children. Take your time and reminisce over those precious times together.
Then, take time and find a quiet place. Get alone with God and ask Him to give you a heart that’s willing to do anything to keep your family together. Ask Him for wisdom. He will give it to you.
Then, face your family with a re-newed spirit of contentment, thankfulness and joy.
But, let me warn you.
When you choose to stay with your family, you will have to fight. You will have to fight against the desire to snap back at your husband when he comes home from work with a grumpy, complaining and self-centered attitude.
You’ll have to fight against the desire to snap at your kids when they’re constantly complaining and arguing with each other.
You’ll have to fight the desire to scream because your house looks like it just threw up the entire contents of its stomach.
Those are the times you’ll have to fight. And you’ll have to fight with God’s help.
But when you conquer hatred, anger and malice with God’s help, you will win the victory in your home. And you know what? You won’t want to walk out the door. In fact, sometimes people will have to drag you away from your home because you’ll enjoy the peaceful happiness that lives within those walls!
But, the tips on a happier home, don’t end here. In fact, it’s a passion of mine. To help one mom or wife at a time to stay. And not only to stay, but to learn to love her family once again. And not only to love, but to help guide her family into a transformation — a transformation from hideous to happy.
May you choose to stay with your family today — and for the rest of your time here on earth. I’m cheering you on — to keep going — even when the days get tough!
So, check out the other posts on this very topic below and choose to stay. Always, always feel free to write me if you need additional encouragement or help! You can reach me at alison dot pintsizedtreasures at gmail.com.
Cheering you on,