Stay at Home Mom Help: 12 Surprisingly Simple Ways to Thrive

Stay At Home Moms Need Help and Encouragement!

Being a full-time, stay-at-home mom is an amazing job. I love it!

But, there’s always a constant temptation.

Help for Stay at Home Mom

To lose your joy in homemaking.

To forget your vision for a happy home.

To just give up.

It’s a temptation that’s real to all of us.

There’s Help for the Stay at Home Mom

Soon those comfy jammies and hot cup of tea seem to call you to the couch…then to Facebook…around to Instagram…and finally tucks you in for a Netflix watching binge.

Then you hear your husband’s keys jingle at the door and you’re still in your jammies — with 3 weeks of hair growth on your legs and semi-greasy locks that are begging for a good scrub.

You didn’t plan it this way…it just happened.

Feeling like a human diaper changing machine, keeping an 24/7 home-cookin' kitchen running and giving Mr.Clean a run for his money on scrubbing and mopping can easily zap your zeal for the stay-at-home-mom life. Dig into these 12 surprisingly simple ways to thrive and start being passionate about being a SAHM again1 #stayathomemom #stayathomewife #stayathomelife #sahm #motherhood #inspiration #mommyblog #Christianblog #Christianmoms #homemaking #homemakinghelps #mommylife #parenting #happyhome #stayathomemother

But the painful reality is this..

No man likes coming home from work and seeing his wife in her sweats and baby goo on her over-sized t-shirt.

One reader’s husband was completely transparent when he told me he had legitimate concerns about his wife becoming a SAHM again.

“My wife use to be a stay-at-home. But, I got tired of coming home and seeing her without her hair fixed, no make-up wearing her pajamas. I like her working outside the home because she gets dressed and seems to have purpose in her life.”

It’s Easy for Stay-at-Home Moms to Lose Their Focus


Anyone can fall into that rut.

I don’t fault that woman.

However, I do want to help!

And if you’re in a stay-at-home mom rut, I want you to know that there are moms who care…and there are moms who don’t know how to get over the unhappy, not-so-zealous, less-than-optimistic, stay-at-home mom attitude.

You’re not alone!

Stay at Home Moms Can Thrive!

And yet, there are moms who have learned to be happy in an unhappy world.<3

Some of my friends who use to chat about their new recipes they’re making or their new decorating idea actually wilted under the seemingly monotonous life of a SAHM.

One of those mom friends invited me over for a few minutes and seemed as if she needed to let off some steam.

My Stay at Home Mom Friend Needed Help

In an almost desperate whisper, she asked: “Do you feel trapped?”

I tried to hide my shock.

Truly, I was loving my life as a stay-at-home mom and wife.

I felt like the queen of my royal abode and enjoyed managing my kingdom during the day.

help for stay at home mom

I loved meeting my husband at the door and inviting him to sit at a dinner table that was spread with homemade comfort food that was made with loving hands.

Putting away my husband’s fresh, folded laundry and tucking line-dried sheets under our mattress created an anticipation for his daily return home from work. (

Of course, this sanity saving laundry trick helped to avoid drowning in mountains of dirty laundry.

If you have a big family, it’s a HUGE help!

Spoiled is the only word I could think of when I meditated on the fact that I got to be with my children 24/7.

I Loved My Life as a Stay-at-home Mom

But my friend didn’t share that joy.

Instead, she felt “trapped.”

And it was extremely evident she wasn’t thriving in her home — she was only surviving.

No mom should become that overwhelmed.

She needed a friend to encourage her.

She needed someone to inspire her to thrive.

Can I Inspire you to Thrive as a Stay-at-home Mom?

Stay at home mom help

Many moons ago, I was blessed to be a part of two separate ladies groups that invited inspirational women speakers to encourage us in our Christian walk.

Many times those ladies spoke about the home.

I enjoyed three consecutive years of gleaning wisdom and encouragement from these ladies.

Those ladies knew how to thrive in the role of a stay-at-home mom.

They had raised their children and managed a home for decades — yet still woke up every morning with a passion to thrive again.

Stay-at-home Moms Can Be Happy

A passion to see a happier home for their family.

And their passion was contagious.

It became my go-to when I would entertain the thought that working outside my home would be more rewarding…more stimulating.

I feel guilty if I don’t share their life-lessons with others!

It's incredibly easy to lose inspiration in our jobs as wives and moms.  Be inspired to thrive asa stay at home mom with these 12 surprisingly simple tips! #stayathomemom #stayathomewife #sahm #moms #motherhood #homemaking #homemakers #mommyblog #inspiration #Christianmoms #thrivingathome #happymoms #happywife

And dear mom, I want to be honest.

If you and I can find purpose in our position as stay-at-home moms and wives and there will be little complaint from our families.

Our children and hunky husbands will be the main focus of our strengths and talents. And that’s a gift that no one else can give them.

Think of what you’re offering the most precious people in your life when you commit the best of yourself to them.

Let’s name a few…shall we?;0)

Benefits of a Family with Stay-at-home Mom

  • clean and tidy home
  • home-cooked meals
  • kind, sweet wife
  • clean and folded laundry
  • undivided attention
  • hospitality
  • homeschool education available for children
  • someone who’s available during the day for emergencies
  • homemade goodies
  • less-stressed evenings

Perhaps you’re thinking, “Not every stay-at-home mom/wife provides that for a family!”


But most of us are capable of giving those gifts to our families!

We just get distracted…and disheartened.

But, how can we thrive? How can we keep a fresh, upbeat spirit about our work as stay-at-home-moms?

We have to realize that stay-at-home moms are not “just moms” or “just wives.” No, we’re are much more than that!

stay at home moms need help

We are the heart of the home.

We provide the haven that everyone desires to come to for comfort and rest.

We have the power to create the atmosphere of our home with a positive attitude, hard-working spirit and unending kindness.

Have you ever heard the saying, “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world” ?

It’s true!

Want to rule the world?;0)

Take small simple steps to give you daily inspiration so you can avoid the apathetic, uninspired rut many women fall into.

Disclosure: I know that being a stay-at-home OR work-at-home mom with a chronic illness is no joke. I personally struggle with fibromyalgia which can affect my physical abilities. However, I still try to keep thriving in the home a priority! If you struggle in the area of health, take it one day at a time. <3

Close up of unrecognizable young mother with her newborn baby son in sling at home

12 Surprisingly Simple Ways to Thrive as a Stay-at-Home Mom

Waking up Early Can Help Your Stay at Home Mom Journey

Get up before your family and spend a few minutes praying, exercising and getting your home on track.

Getting a head start will fight the feeling of “never getting everything done.”

Getting Dressed to Your Shoes Can Inspire Stay at Home Moms

Any Fly-lady fans?

I love her tips!

One of her BEST tips for getting motivated to clean is to get dressed — all the way to your shoes!

Completing this one simple task motivates inspires you to work faster, stay perky and handle each task with a more professional attitude.

Yay for that!

Dress for Your Stay-at-Home Mom Day By Wearing an Apron

Sometimes sporting one of these cuties will get you in the sweet spirit and busy-mom mind-set.

Aprons seem to scream, “I need to clean or cook!”

So throw on an apron and get to it!

Psst! You can even make your daughter one out of an old pair of jeans!

Find out how here!

Making Time for Daily Exercise Can Add Happiness to Your SAHM Day

It’s tough if you have young kids in the house, but be creative!

Here are some super simple ideas on how to stay fit as a SAHM.

You’ll love how you can fit those easy exercises in your busy mom routine!

Daily exercise helps your body gain endurance and helps all those happy hormones kick in.

You definitely need that after you stepped on a Lego or found a week-old sippy cup…..ewwww!

Stay at Home Moms Can Read inspiring Articles and Books

What you read affects your attitude and ideals.

Fill your mind with positive books and articles about thriving your home.

My 25 Day to a Happier Home helps stay-at-home moms challenge themselves with a daily challenge for the course of 25 days. (You can use coupon code THRIVE to get 30% off the store price!)

By the end of the book, moms are more invigorated, refreshed and ready to tackle the stay-at-home mom life with a smile!

I also recommend ANY books or articles from Club31Women, The Better Mom and Time-Warp Wife.

Schedule a break During Your Stay at Home Mom Day

Have a scheduled time during the day to re-group and rejuvenate.

I like to take my kid’s nap-time for this.

If you struggle with getting your kids to routinely nap, read these expert nap time secrets!

Once the kids are asleep, there’s a serene quietness that comes over our home.

It’s a time our family guards carefully and I always try to spend 20 minutes just absorbing those moments.

After that short break, I’m refreshed and ready to dive anatomy next stay-at-home mom responsibility!

Surround Yourself with People Who Share Your Vision of Being a Stay at Home Mom

Try to spend time talking with others who have a passion to be present in the home.

Others may drain your joy just by expressing their negative opinions about “Wasting your life” and “losing yourself” when you’re committed to creating a happy home for your family.

We have a great group moms you can connect with at All Things Mommy on Facebook!

I can chat with you there too! <3

Get out once a week.

I LOVE staying home.

But, getting out once a week will help you appreciate your home even more.

Take the kids to the library, park or just go out grocery shopping.

Think about your munchkins too.

They need to experience life outside the home as well.

Don’t stay away from home too often.

Right on the heels of the previous tip is one that is pertinent to becoming a thriving and efficient home-maker.

Stay at home.

Wow, that’s deep.

Seriously, I cannot even begin to count the women I know that are rarely home.

No wonder they don’t find inspiration in keeping their home and ministering to their family!

The less you are home, the more the laundry, dust and bills add up.

Yes, I mentioned bills.

What do we do when we don’t stay at home?

We eat-out, buy unnecessary items and waste fuel in our car.

Staying home has so many benefits when you are a woman.

Just try it!

Play Upbeat Music During the Busy, Stay at Home Mom Day

My daughters have followed my lead and play their favorite music when they’re cooking or cleaning together.

Music motivates people to exercise…and it also works for cooking and cleaning!

Try it!

Develop a new homemaking skill

My homemaking skills were non-existent when I married my favorite guy 18 years ago.

During the course of our marriage I investing in learning how to sew, cross-stitch, make homemade bread, homemade sausage, homemade laundry detergent, and the list goes on.

Learning new skills that would help create a more comfy and pretty nest for my family kept me motivated as a stay-at-home mom.

Choose an interest and start developing that skill!

You can learn almost anything from a YouTube video..ha!

Stick to a Stay at Home Mom Routine or Schedule

Our home runs much more smoothly when we stick to a routine.

You can find an amazing stay-at-home schedule here that’s super simple to follow!

When I plan the routine for our family, (we like the word routine instead of schedule —because daily life is sometimes unpredictable!) I consider the normal, daily happenings like:

  • My morning routine before the children wake up.
  • Breakfast.
  • Cleaning. (We do house swoops to keep our home tidy!)
  • School.
  • Music practice time.
  • Naps.
  • Outside play.
  • Dinner.
  • Evening house swoop.
  • Baths, devotions, and bedtime.

When I had only two kids, I had a schedule.

Now that I have six kids, I have a routine.

Whichever works better for your family, stick with it.

Setting a daily schedule or routine gives you purpose, motivation and security.

I Dare you to Thrive in Your Stay at Home Mom Adventures!

And I made an entire course for stay-at-home moms!

It’s packed with 17 videos, printables, and a written guide.

stay at home mom encouragement

To inspired you to love your stay at home mom journey even more.

And to support you as you make the sacrifice to invest in your family daily.

You can grab it here.

Hope it’s an encouragement to you! <3

encouragement for sahms

If you loved that inspiration, we're sure you'll love these too!

125 thoughts on “Stay at Home Mom Help: 12 Surprisingly Simple Ways to Thrive”

  1. Hi!
    here it says :’ Let’s be honest. You still have a husband.’
    But what if your a single mom? there is no husband that comes home every night.
    No man to dress up for or anything.
    When the father of my child and i were still together i would dress up for him because
    i wanted him to come home and think ‘wow, i’m so lucky’ , you know.
    But now it’s just me… all day long. Do you have any tips for that? X

    1. Hi Jessie!

      Good point.:) Most of my readers are married moms of young kids, but some of you aren’t!

      I am married, but my hubby has had to leave me for several weeks at a time. During those times, I still strove to get dressed and stay on schedule. Why? Because it motivated me to work hard and have a great attitude around the home. Plus, I want to be an example to my kids. Getting dressed, having a sweet countenance and focusing on the home should still be a priority if kids are at home. I have a close friend who is a widow, maybe I could get her to comment some encouragement your way.

    2. Jessie,

      I’m a new widow with 2 littles (girl 4 in 1 mo, boy recently 2) and 1 due in a few months. I understand where you are coming from, but I agree with Alison. Part of getting up and getting ready every day for me is routine, and part of it is that I want to be prepared for whatever we might be doing that day (something my daughter doesn’t always understand since she wants to live in her pjs and definitely would if I let her). I think there is something about getting up, dressed, and ready (even when it’s light make up and a messy bun) that jump starts a day and gets you going on anything that you might need to do. Also, I think you can begin getting motivated by doing everything for the glory of God and not necessarily because there is a husband to dress up for. There might be days where it is more glorifying to have a fun, lazy pj day with the kids, but most days it will be more glorifying to be ready for what the day might bring. I think you can look at this list as some good ideas to help you thrive in your home, but not some sort of list of rules. For example, my kids are still adjusting to life with just mommy and often get up in the middle of the night (and there will be new one to do that too soon), so getting up before my kids isn’t going to happen, but it will probably be something I do as they get older and actually appreciate sleep so that can begin a day putting my focus on God (instead of just reading and praying what I can during Mickey Mouse Club House as everyone wakes up a bit better). God’s grace and mercies are new every morning and these are just some helpful tips to help you see these and not just be home with the kids, but enjoy it. Hope this helps.


      1. Good thoughts, Stephanie! Thx for taking the time to encourage another widow! I know you ladies have extra grace! What an amazing testimony for you to strive to glorify God as you raise your munchkins!

  2. Absolutely the best post I’ve read in a long time! In the 11 years that I have been home with my children I have learned not to use the word “just” as in “just a mom” or “just a wife” or “just stay home”. The first few years I was that woman who was still in her sweats when hubby came home but then God moved in my life and I started taking my “job” of staying at home seriously. I treat it as my profession. Always striving to do better! And removing the word “just”. I am THE CEO of our home!

  3. thank you! These are great tips! I have to say that I would never dress up or wear shoes at home though. We never wear shoes inside and I take my pants off the moment I walk in the door:) I do get out of my jammies( into cotton shorts and t-shirt), brush my teeth, and wash my face though. I think that kind of thing depends on your family and personality. My husband works from home and usually works in board shorts and no shirt:). We feel more productive when we are comfortable!

  4. So inspirational! I am a SAHM to my 3 year old daughter and having suffered post partum depression with a wonderful husband who works very long hours to support us and no family in this country I lost myself. The ppd is now over but I still find myself struggling to remember who I am as a person and where I start and my family begins. It’s so important to get up and get dressed and make up our faces. Not necessarily for anyone else. But for US! it helps us to remember we are also important.

    1. Glad it inspired you Leonie! Yep, I think choosing to be a SAHM shouldn’t rob us of looking our best! God sees our heart, but people see our outward appearance.:)

  5. I stumbled upon your blog on Pinterest and I have to say I am so thankful I did. It spoke to my heart. I have been in a rut recently and have been feeling unfulfilled in my profession as a stay at home mom. I can’t wait to implement your 7 steps. I know that the simple act of getting up early will help me feel so much better when the kids get up. Instead of feeling frazzled that I am STILL not ready for the day I will feel ready to face the day. I can’t wait to get my edge back!

  6. I truly needed these words of encouragement. I hung my head and cried. I have a 2 year old & one on the way. My husband is military and we have been overseas for four years. I used to have a spotless home with amazing meals laid out for when he got home and greeted him all made up too. Then baby came and he still expected that. I feel like I’m drowning and get no help or appreciation when it’s done. The resentment that he works while I’m at home being his slave is slowly killing our marriage.

    1. Oh, Anita! I have been there, feeling unappreciated and over my head with the workload. We live overseas too–with six kids and no extended family.

      Those thoughts can easily creep into our minds about being a slave and unappreciated, but what is the end result of those thoughts? Anger, resentment bitterness. The fruit itself lets us know our thoughts are not of God. Instead, we should be thankful for an opportunity to serve our husband and kiddos and take it to God when we feel unloved.

      1. I don’t agree that anger is always ‘bad fruit’ and therefore something to stamp out. Wouldn’t you agree that anger can be righteous, or it can be a (useful) red flag, telling us that something is wrong, either inside OR outside of ourselves.

        Knowing that God is her only perfect hope, still I pray that Anita will receive grace and more practical help and understanding from her husband in this time, especially as she is preparing for a new baby.

        1. Hi Laura,

          She was talking about resentment, which is something deeper than anger. Anger is still a sensitive emotion, and yes you can be angry and sin not. However, when we harbor bitterness and resentment in our hearts towards someone else, we need to address and fix those issues. Ephesian 4:43 says”And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” We have to forgive, pray and move on. Resentment and bitterness will only ruin a marriage.

  7. THX so much for the encouraging post. I recently got married and went from the hustle and bustle of full time working & studying to being a SAH-wife. After spending 2 yrs struggling to get the house in order bcs of the distractions from work & academics, I now suddenly have the world of time to sort piles & do gardening. I don’t have a routine & staying in pajamas is extremely tempting. Now that I have read your piece I will definitely be getting up tomorrow morning for that bike ride.

  8. Thank you for writing this article. It’s a great reminder of why I choose to stay at home with my four children and how to make this fleeting time the most effective. Its great to have a community of mothers to rely on and encourage each other! Thanks again.

  9. Alison, I loved this post …. it was so practical , and you are right we tend to every so often get in a rut about our house, and chores, and other daily duties. Thanks for the reminder!

    1. Thanks Sonya! I was you shared this post on FB too! I really appreciate that. It is always a blessing to be able to get positive messages about motherhood and marriage out there. I can use reminders too:0) !

  10. I do some of my best work in my yoga pants and feel great while doing so. This post, while meant to be motivational is actually very disappointing, in my opinion. If your Husband only feels lucky due to your outward appearance, I’d say you are quite unlucky. This makes me grateful that I have a Husband who can clean up after himself instead of relying on me to act as his Mother.

    1. She isn’t saying the only way your husband will appreciate you is if you look like a super model. She’s saying that you should want to look your best for the man you love. My husband is like yours. He’s a coach and loves me regardless. However, I love to take the time I did when we were dating, not because he wants me to but because I want to for him. And cleaning up after him, My husband would never expect that and he always says thanks when I do it. So again it isn’t something I do because of him, it’s something I do because I love him. It is when it is not expected and required that it brings joy to do it.

    2. Choosing to clean up after your husband and dress nice for him is not motherly — it is exactly what God created the woman to be, the man’s companion and help. Did you dress nice for your husband before you married him? Most women dress up for the man they love. Why stop when you finally have him as your own?

    3. I agree that this post is disappointing. There are some legitimate points she makes. But the overall tone is kind of degrading to women.

      1. I totally agree. This article infuriates me! That we as women are to do nothing but walk around in makeup with our hair fixed and our heels on wearing our aprons and doing nothing but cleaning and cooking and trying to make everything perfect for our husbands is very degrading! I am a stay at home mom. Makeup is expensive and I’m not going to wear it around the house all day for my 2 year old, sorry. I also run my own business working at home. ….

        1. I do laundry, tidy up the house, and my FAMILY has a home cooked meal each night, not just for my husband. He also helps with dishes, and our daughter and other things .. And to say a woman should stay at home and not go out, you really have issues! I have to run errands, take the kids places, go to the grocery and need to just get out of the house sometimes. And I will not wear an apron all day! This is not uplifting, it puts women down. I spend time with my daughter, not being Martha Stuart.

          1. Hi Lynn,

            Not sure if you read the post in its entirety. I encourage women to get out once a week, even two or three times wouldn’t hurt, but the majority of her time she be at home if she desires to thrive as a sahm. As for the apron thing, I do not wear one everyday, but on those days when I need a little encouragement in the home-making area, I throw one on to get my in the home-making spirit. Also, if you take sometime to look around you will see I am big on family meals. But yes, there are times when I only cook for my husband, but most of the time we are all eating together, but I do focus on providing meals that my husband enjoys to reward him for the great job he does as husband and Father.

        2. If you re-read the post, there is no mention of heels. Wearing make-up, cooking, cleaning and fixing our hair is degrading? Why?

        3. This article pretty much turns me off and sickens me. I mean for reals wearing an apron is one of 7 ways to thrive. How petty. I’m sorry, but I am more than apron wearing maid and cook. I live overseas where we serve as missionaries, and have 7 children so I’m probably not even going to be sporting a bra most days. I can promise you though that I will make my best effort to make sure they are all fed something even if it comes from the noodle shop and accounted for. I’m done with your blog.

    4. The title of this article is deceiving. I thought it would be uplifting and positive. Instead, it should be titled “How to have your Husband Thrive with You as a SAHM.” . This article “preaches” that being a SAHM is a chance to elevate your status as an invaluable part of the marriage. I view my opportunity as a SAHM as a chance to bond with my child. To be a part of his growth and development everyday makes me feel so lucky. It is what gives me the energy to do the nonstop work.

      1. Dear Sarah,

        The title is perfect for a mom who is desiring to thrive in her home. One part of thriving is thriving in your marriage. Your relationships with your children will only go south if your relationship with your hubby is not where it should be. An advantage of being a SAHM is having the extra time to focus on your kids and hubby. I LOVE having time to spend with my kids, but I also enjoy that I am able to focus on being a help and companion to my husband as well.I hope you now understand why I chose that title. Thanks!

  11. I had an experience with my 4 year-old a couple months back where I was telling her to get dressed and she asked me, “Why? Are we going somewhere?” She wasn’t being disrespectful. I looked down at myself and realized that I wasn’t getting dressed until 4pm most days- just in time for my hubby to come home ;-) . Since then I’ve tried to be a better example for her by getting dressed in the morning. I also try to make my home a safe haven from the world. Great article.

    1. Thanks Debra! Sometimes it takes simple, and innocent honesty from our kids to put things in perspective for us. Congrats on striving to make you home a safe haven! You’re on the right track!

  12. As a SAHM of three kiddos under three, I think that your points of motivation are a great ideal! However, I am still perhaps in a less thriving stage of motherhood and am in fact surviving! I think we should all aim for a higher more idealic home. if I’m being honest – I feel good about myself if we all make it through the day! I think as mothers we should all pat each other on the back for each day we do make it through -even if we do it in our sweatpants and without makeup on!

    1. I agree with you Elise. The age of your child has a lot to do with how much you can do. We are also all made different and all have different directions God may guid us in. This post may be good for some but make others feel even more helpless.

  13. I am a mother of three (8,7,6) and a SAHM. I recently completed my Associates Degree in Nursing and have been unable to find employment, and so I find myself being a SAHM. A part of me loves being home for the kids and hubby, but a part of me also hates wasting my degree. Is this what I was called to do? Picking up after kids and spouse? I feel there has to be more. I feel offended by the thought that I have been reduced to being a personal maid! But at the same time I long to be that help meet

    1. Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

      Try not to view yourself as a personal maid, but a woman that is making a haven for the most precious people in her life—her family. It is a joy to clean up, cook and make a comfy, decorated home for my family to enjoy when I focus on their happiness—and that in turn brings me happiness! Consider a nursing job, are you not a servant to others? Do you not clean up after them, help them and aid them in many ways? Why would a nursing job bring you more satisfaction than tending to your own family? No, you may not get a raise, but you will get to enjoy the extra cuddle time and memories that other moms won’t. If you keep a good attitude, you can also reap amazing marriage benefits. Just try focusing on your family for two weeks and see if there is a change in your heart and theirs! Bake your kids some cookies, surprise your hubby with his favorite snack or meal. Focus on being their help and encourager and that alone for two weeks. Then, let me know if you find joy and satisfaction in being a SAHM.:)

  14. This post felt a bit judgmental to me. For some women, being a stay at home mom isn’t their thing. And they should not be judged for feeling trapped any more than they should judge others for loving it. I agree with some of your points. But There is more to cultivating a good marriage than always looking great, etc. There needs to be a deeper connection as well. God gave women potential as individuals as well as mothers/wives we need to live up to in order to be complete.

    1. Hi Kim,

      Why do you think being a stay-at-home- mom isn’t some women’s “thing”? Could it be that they are listening to the world’s viewpoint instead of God’s plan for women? I know I was floored when someone told me that God’s place for moms was in the home. I had never heard of that before. I had dreams and goals that did not include motherhood, but I am so glad that God showed me truth and I was willing to submit to it. Titus chapter 2 is a great place to start to see what is a perfect plan for the married woman—to love her husband, her kids and be a keeper at home. Being a keeper at home can become a woman’s “thing” if she finds desire in pleasing God and her family. God knows what is best for us, we should trust his leading!

      1. In college, we get degrees in different areas. That doesn’t surprise us. So women having different desires shouldn’t either. I agree that family and home should be a priority for women and men equally. If a woman works because they want money they don’t need or glory from the world they are following the worlds point of view. But God has given women talents and intelligence that should be shared with more than just your own children. I think it is a matter of sincere prayer for each woman .

        1. Dear Kim,

          Yes, God has gifted women with different talents, as well as men. However, you can use those talents to bless others AND stay-at-home. There are many options for stay-at-home moms to reach out to others. They can bake goodies for others, visit people that are sick or lonely, sell things from an online hand-made shop, write, teach piano and voice and the list goes on. Honestly, if a woman is married, I do not think a lot of prayer is required to find God’s will for her life. Titus chapter 2 is a clear picture of God’s plan for married women. I think the matter of prayer would be where we could serve outside the home, while keeping our husband and kids priority. We are missionaries in a third-world country, so I am called upon to go with my husband to help him serve others outside my home at times. But, still, the majority of my time is spent investing in my home and family. God has shown me how to use my talents to help others while keeping my family top priority. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  15. My boyfriend and I are planning to have kids in a couple of years, and I am planning on being a SAHM. I have to say I was put off by the talk about a husband; how you need to thrive for HIM.

    I think it’s incredibly important to stay motivated for yourself FIRST before you stay motivated for anyone, including your significant other. I fell into this same rut as a nanny, and I had no husband to thrive for. I had to change my habits for MYSELF, which is can be much more rewarding.

    1. Dear Rebekah,

      I am not sure if you are a Christian or not, but the Bible teaches throughout that serving others is what brings us joy. Here is a short passage from Philippians 2: 1-4

      “If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies, Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.”

      God’s desire for us is to think and care about others before ourselves. I would love if you would take a few minutes to read that passage of scripture! The world and the media tells us to love ourselves and focus on ourselves first, but God tells us to die to ourselves and look on the things of others. Truly, serving others is what brings me the most happiness. When I focus on my self, I become disgruntled, self-centered and discontent. Hope this helps!

  16. Alison,
    I just wanted to let you know I think you did a good job with this post. My husband led a Bible study in our home tonight and we discussed how people are viewing the Bible through the lense of culture, instead of viewing culture based on the Bible. I think the same thing is true regarding SAHM’s. Many view this work as “lower” and not as worthy. That is simply not the case! God created men and women to be different, and to have different roles. We need to embrace our God-given roles.

    1. Thank you Jennifer! You really encouraged me. I completely agree with you how people are viewing the Bible through the lens of culture. It is a sad day when we let culture and worldly influence form our thoughts and beliefs.

  17. What an inspiration! New Sahm, who dove from the director of operations of a big construction company right into this wonderful world that I am oh so blessed to be in. Sure there are times when I miss the suit, and the structure of rouitne, but then the reality hits me with a big wet kiss or a piece of fruit being showed in my mouth bc she wants to share her food with mommy, or that song comes along and we have to dance to. The best job ever.Thanks for writing this article! Will put it to use.

  18. I had a successful career and now joyfully stay home with our two little ones. I have had to crucify my idol of productivity again and again. I see that mentality reflected here: if I can just do the right things or complete the right steps, I will be successful and fulfilled. But God is not a transactional God; he is a God of grace and mercy in brokenness, of strength in weakness, of sufficiency in failing. We need Sabbath rest (no mention of that here), and we need to lean wholly on Jesus.

    1. Dear Kate,

      Being productive in something does not have to be an idol. In fact, the woman that God calls virtuous in Proverbs 31 is quite productive! But God uses her as an example for all women to strive to become. I have not arrived there, but sure want to keep trying! I do encourage women to take a break during the day to re-charge and re-collect their thoughts, etc. Of course we should lean wholly on Jesus! It is he who gives us the strength and wisdom to be productive in our homes!

      1. It sounds like the end goal is still productivity, happiness of ourselves and our families, etc. Fulfillment comes in our role as wife and mother, we “have the power,” and a schedule is what gives us “purpose, motivation and security.” Compare that to Prov 31:30 (“…a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised”) and Titus 2:5 (“be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”) The purpose and power are both God’s.

  19. I find this whole post to be extremely backward and degrading. The impression I’m getting is that women’s only mission in life is to be a trophy wife, a homemaker, and pop out a couple kids. That is mind-boggling. I’m married, and I work outside the home. My husband was laid off a few years ago and hasn’t been able to duplicate his previous salary. I’ve worked both before and after his layoff. I worked hard for my degree and I’m proud to say I use it every day. That’s sinful?

    1. Aew I completely agree. I don’t know how I stumbled across this on pinterest but WOW! It feels like this is an excerpt from something out of the 1940s!!

    2. Hi Aew,

      This post was for SAHM. It was written to encourage women who were already staying at home to find joy in their vocation. Many SAHMs I know do not regret that they are not “using” their degree. In fact, some of their knowledge they learned during college can be applied to managing a home. No where in the post do I call using your degree outside the home sinful. But, any one that honestly reads the passages in the Bible that speak of God’s plan for women will argue that the home is the best place for a married woman. I was trying to encourage women to THRIVE in their homes and enjoy this wonderful place to serve others. Trusting in God’s wisdom instead of our own is what brings true happiness!

  20. I don’t disagree with this all, but I think the getting out of the house ideas could include a little down/me time for the hard working SAHM. And maybe, in this modern day the husband could lend a hand!

    1. I totally agree! My hubby has his set jobs so we all know what is expected. He does breakfast and makes the girls’ lunches. I feel he’s contributing (and so does he) and since we both know each other’s roles there is no nagging!

  21. I am not a stay at home mom as I have no kids but my husband and I plan on it once we have children. That being said I think this post is spot on and I love the encouragement. I also think it is necessary to dress up for your husband and not because you are only valued for outward appearance but in order to feel good about yourself as well. Many forget that children will grow up and form their own families and it will once again be just the two of you.

  22. I was just reading through this and must say I totally agree with the getting up and going…I’ve been a stay at home mom for 20 years now. I’m a professional..haha…My husband and I have 3 daughters, 20 (junior in college), 18 (freshman in college) and 8 (3rd grader). We have made many choices over the years that have allowed me to remain at home. I do like to get out but it’s so true that things are left undone and I spend money that I didn’t need to.

  23. My tips: Find another SAHM that you can go on outings w. regularly. Take your kids to classes. Do activities with your kids, teach & explore museums, nature- this gives your job as a SAHM validity. Join a co-op group & get your kid some socialization & yourself some free time. Run w. a pal go to the gym. Join a cooking co-op for group meals & socialization. I’m a people person, this was the largest setback for me. I needed this socialization to feel connected to people & feel like a person.

  24. I’m a SAHM to just 1 baby but have some health problems that complicate things… No way am I going to put on shoes, that prevents me from taking advantage of my sons unfortunately short naps. And prioritizing SLEEP matters – I’m not going to look pretty in my apron & heels with bags under my eyes LOL. Also, I agree the husband DOES matter – modeling love is part of raising children.

  25. I just love this post! I feel so much the same way you do! I feel so blessed to be a stay-at-home-mom! It has always been my dream, but I find that staying prayerful and close to God is top priority to help me not fall into those stay-at-home-mom ruts!

  26. I think that what some are forgetting is that the husband is not off the hook per Gods Word. Men have plenty of expectations of them as husbands. They are called to be the spiritual head of the household. The salvation of his wife and children falls on his shoulders. A woman is called to lead her children to salvation, but it does not ask from her the burden if her spouse in the same way.They are called to be the providers and to love their wives as Christ loves the church.That’s awesome for us.Also remember that any husband would not think twice about dying for his wife if a terrible situation were to arise.In return, can’t we have a hot dinner, get out of our sweats and put on a little lipstick and a smile when he comes home? I’d say we have the easy part.

  27. Great thoughts! I’m a sahm to two wonderful boys, 2 years old and 6mo. We recently moved cross country so we don’t know many people here yet and hubs is in grad school and not home much. I’ve found myself in a horrible rut and slacking on my duties as mom and wife. (I’m playing on the internet right now while sitting next to Mt. Fold-me) Tomorrow morning I’m going to get up, get out of my pj’s I’ve been in all day and night and get going! Thanks so much for the encouraging post! :)

  28. Pingback: Energizing Tips for Moms

  29. I get the goal here is to give practical help & that is good,but I see a major problem. I feel this encourages “I have it all together” fake-ness. I do “feel good” when I accomplish many of the things mentioned: looking nice for hubby, cooking, & clean house. But! No matter how well I follow these tips and try to stay on my game I am going to fall on my face &fail-as mom, wife, &homemaker. I don’t need to put my apron & shoes on! I need Jesus-His righteousness for my rags. I need real. I need people who love me in & through the mess, not people who tell me to make everything look good on the outside. I want my kids to hear me say I’m sorry & point them to Christ. I want my hubby to want me even in pjs w/ baby goo, I want a friend to come in & step over the mess & sit on my couch and cry & laugh in the midst of chaos, I want to teach my kids no one can do it alone-we need each other &they can help. Just my thoughts on what to me is more fuel for the rat race of trying to look like we have it all together

    1. Hi Stephanie!

      If you notice, the first tip I mention is getting up early and praying and getting a good start for your day. I try to lean on Christ every moment to help me thrive as a sahm. But, let’s not fail to realize that there was a woman who thrived as a sahm in the Bible. She is found in Proverbs 31. Do I consider her a fake? Not in the least. Nor do I think that all women who seem to have it altogether are “fake.” This post was written to encourage moms that are in a rut. I wrote it for those moms who feel like they are failing. Putting my shoes on and wearing an apron does help me put some pep in my step, so I thought it may help other moms too. Do you love your husband when he is dirty, sweaty and smelly from working outside? Sure you do. But, he also loves you enough to shower and freshen up before he gives you a great big bear hug. When I mess up, I do apologize and point my kids to Christ. This post does not discourage women to do that. In fact, you can check out a post on saying I’m sorry here Let’s not let the excuse of we are human and we need to lean on Christ discourage us from seeking to thrive! God encourages the older women to teach the younger women to love their husbands, their children and to be keepers at home. I desire to teach moms how to excel in those areas and I am still learning new tidbits of helpful info everyday! Enjoy your journey of motherhood! Remember, we can do all things through Christ…even thrive as a SAHM.:)

  30. I don’t consider myself a feminist but this article degrades women. I am a SAHM and plan to be for a very long time. There a few pieces of good advice but on whole this article reminds me of advice given to women in the 50s.

    1. Why do you think it degrades women? When a woman thrives in her home duties she is excited, happy and fulfilled. She blooms in the area in which women have a natural aptitude. I am so glad to have an opportunity to be a wife and mom and do not feel it degrades anyone to enjoy the blessings of thriving at home!

  31. I am torn…I am struggling. I have read so many ood articles lately about how important it is to not put your clean “perfect” home above your children. My 3 yr old and baby scream for my attention at all waking hours…am I to neglect that to get myself primped up for hubs and have a perfectly clean home. I would love to be June Cleaver, but let’s be honest, some days I feel like I do nothing but play with my kids, feed my baby every 3 hrs, and maybe get a load of laundry done if they both nap.

    1. I understand where you are coming from, Julie. I have had a 1 1/2 year old, 20 month old and newborn. I have six kids now, and they are all close in age. The youngest are 13 months apart. I know what it is like to be feeding a baby every three hours, playing with kids and keeping the house clean. But, let me say, it is possible. It may not be a perfect home, but most of the time we are spending time somewhere else. Maybe the internet, tv, books or sleeping. We have to realize that after kids come into the picture, our lives do change and we don’t have as much free time as before. Take a couple of days and chart everything you do. YOu may be surprised at the time you actually do have! Don’t give up and keep trying to thrive!

      1. That is why I’m torn. I think the exact opposite when I read those articles “let the cobwebs wait because your children can’t…” We do need balance and I really do try. We don’t watch tv and internet time is basically when I’m feeding baby. I’m a perfectionist at heart and I fight daily with not having every nook and crany perfectly organized and clean. Thankful fo Gods grace as I grow and learn…and a hubby who is so supportive!

  32. This post is FAR from being degrading to women. What you have mentioned has been my life and my what I have been learning for the past 10 years…ever since my daughter was born. It IS an absolute balancing act, but requires lots of self-discipline and selflessness, yet taking the time to take care of yourself at the same time. Having friends who are in the same boat who can encourage you, and you can encourage and laugh with about this crazy stage of life, is HUGE…..Thanks for your post!

  33. What a nice post, Alison! I’m a first-time stay-at-home mom to a two year old girl. Life as a SAHM surely is tough and indescribable. But, there are things we should be thankful for and we, moms should adjust for our family to live an optimistic and blissful life. I’ll surely keep note of this one! Have a good day!

  34. Just found you from Pinterest. What a great list! I’m a SAHM and it is sooooo easy to get into ruts! And no one seems to understand…except other SAHM! Thanks for the encouragement and advice!

  35. I feel like I appreciated the spirit of this post, and the tips on how you can try to make your day go better as a stay at home mom. . . But the rest of the content ruffled my feathers quite a bit. I have a five year old, a three year old, and a one year old. When my husband comes home from work he is likely to see the house a mess, baby goo all over allllll my clothes, and sometimes a meal, but sometimes just nuggets. Have I failed my husband? Nope. I’ve rocked it. Hairy legs and all.

  36. Wow! Exactly what I needed to hear today! It’s not anything I didn’t already know but it is so easy to lose focus. Thanks for the kick in the butt! Lol It was so encouraging. I have often struggled with “just the mom” or “just the wife” mentality. (My Mom actually forbid me from calling myself that.) But I want to bless my marriage, my children, my home and others. It is so rewarding and stress free and makes me have a higher self esteem. May God bless you and yours…. Thanks from Texas! ;-)

  37. I love this. I am trying to become a stay at home mom. What a positive way to look at this role. I really feel this is my purpose now that I have my kiddos. Thank you

  38. What if you do all this, plus more, but your husband refuses to acknowledge all that you do and has anger problems? My husband is the most negative thinker–he changes even great things into something bad in his head. He also ignores many of the Bible’s teachings regarding love, repentance, etc. What do you do? Just keep on the same way?

    1. Great question, Allison!
      I have met many women in your situation and have tried to guide them in this difficult time. First, focus on pleasing the Lord with your actions. By serving your husband and children, you are serving Christ. Jesus Christ himself made himself a servant, why shouldn’t we? I also love the Bible verse that says, “A soft answer turneth away wrath.” This works wonders when dealing with an angry husband. When he is angry, respond kindly — over and over again. Respect and love him for his position in your life. Many times I have seen husbands transformed when their wife focuses on praising, encouraging and loving him. Don’t criticize your husband as he faces criticism in the world every single day. He needs a wife, not another mother. He needs a home where love and respect reign. Don’t let your children talk negative about him, and watch your own words too. Focus on his positives and pray for Him constantly. Most of all, pray for His walk with God. If He has a close relationship with God, his relationship with you and your kids will only get better! But on your part, be careful to never criticize him with your tongue, body language or facial expressions. Please trust me on this one and at least try for one week! It really works! Hugs and prayers!

    2. Listen sweetie, if your husband is aggressive and angry, it is not your fault. Never blame yourself, you do not have control over another persons actions.
      If he is violent towards you or your child, you should get yourself out of that situation and seek help. x

  39. Alison,

    I found this post on Pinterest and it hit right at home with where I am right now. Thank you for the sweet reminders of how my role as a SAHM can be pleasing to God, my husband and a blessing to my kids.
    Even more than the post, I took the time to read through the comments and your replies. You have stayed true to scripture in every single one of them! Quite a few extra “nuggets” and reminders in your replies as well that were a blessing to me!
    Thank you for sharing your heart!

    1. Thank you, Ruthie! It’s comments like yours that encourage me to continue writing. Thank you for taking the time to write some words of encouragement! SO glad I could be of help to you! Hugs!

  40. I’m inspired! I read the comments and I respect how you stayed your course and provided reasoning. Why I wonder, do we ruffle at the thought of selfless love, we are all blessed to experience the selfless love of Jesus. I think we are caught up in the me culture. We should strive to be better for our husbands and children, doing that will bring value. Thank you for your thought provoking words, scriptures and your backbone in providing helpful answers to the negative responses. Well handled!

  41. I was reading this post (from your link on fb), and was reading the comments when I realised I had commented awhile back! This post was again very encouraging for me. Life has gotten so busy lately and I can barely focus. I sometimes feel like I’m just barely staying above water. Thanks for this reminder…again. :)

  42. Great article and I pinned it for reference as a reminder of why I really want and intend to quit my job: focus on my family and blog. For all the right reasons I’m excited to make the leap, the only nervous energy I have is leaving an extremely well paying job.

  43. I am so glad I ran into this. Being a SAHM is hard work. Not alot of people see it that way because they think staying at home all day is easy. But it can be very lonely and frustrating. This really put me in a positiv mood thank u so much

  44. Great post! I am a late in life new mom, was never suppose to have children until God sent me my little miracle. At first I fell into the stay in PJs because it was easier, after all the baby came first. One day I woke & realized it was making me depressed. I realized that I was so set on having baby boy on a schedule that I was not taking the time to enjoy him. Now I have a routine, up early, dressed & ready for him to wake. We are happier & in love with life, my son & husband again.

  45. This feels like it was written in 1950. I think you have the right idea by helping stay at home mom’s thrive, but it sounds like all women are meant to do is stay home to please their man. I chose to stay at home from a financial perspective, and struggle finding a way to thrive instead of just survive. But telling me to put on an apron to put me in the mood to clean sounds like a major step back for women’s rights to equality. This is why men oppress women who want to be more than a wife/mom.

    1. Hi Kim!

      You don’t HAVE to put on an apron to thrive, but it’s just one small thing that gets me moving on those less-than-motivated days of being a SAHM. I love to do anything that will encourage me to take joy in making a home for a family from the simplest things to the more difficult. The apron has nothing to do with women’s rights, in fact I have seen many a man sport one when he was grilling or working on a project. Aprons are just a way to keep our clothing clean when doing a chore or task. When I put on an apron, my mind goes into work mode, and sometimes that is exactly what I need to help me thrive. Hope that explains things a little better! Thx for stopping by!

  46. I feel Like this is correct but don’t wanna do it. But have been majorly since the birth of my second child have had my inspiration stole. I feel jealous that my husband (who works hard) get away from them. I never get away. Getting up early not an option bc i’m up by 345 go get hubs off and my 2 yr and or 8 month old are usually up by 6 630. (I have tried to change) I don’t put shoes on unless needed and we basically dress. I just want to be happy again. I was until baby 2 came.

  47. How would you apply the story of Mary and Martha to this version of a thriving stay at home mom? Not to say there aren’t some great tips on being more effective as we serve our families, but I felt as though your description of a thriving stay at home mom is a task oriented one. I think to really thrive in this role we need to make sure that a desire to be productive isn’t getting in the way of us simple being with Jesus and the children he has entrusted us to train up.

    1. Hi Charlcie,

      Love the story of Mary and Martha! If we take the Bible in its entirety, we can clearly see that Jesus isn’t saying a woman shouldn’t be productive, but that spending time with HIM is “the better thing.” Yes, I whole-heartedly encourage women in person and on the internet to put their relationship with God first. But, if we really dive into God’s word, we see that God desires us to be hard-working, loving and striving to be the best mom and wife we can be. Pro.31,Tit.2,Col.3:23.

  48. I’m so relate to this post, thx for sharing!
    My husband frankly discussed about this with me, at first it strucked me. But then after a long thought I finally can understand what he reading this article u shared give me clearer point of view..thx!
    And yes, definitely..getting dressed and wake really early can help me organize more and boost my confidence.. ^_^

  49. Oh, I very much needed this! I have been so sleep deprived the past few weeks, some from the kids but also some from me staying up late for some”peace and quiet”. Then I can’t get done what I need to the next day and it spirals from there. I also tend towards depression if I do not continuously monitor my thoughts. Today I really wanted to sit in self-pity, but then I read this…Thank you so much!

    1. Thank you for taking time to write that sweet comment! I am so glad I got to send a little encouragement your way! Hope you can get some extra zzz’s soon! :)

  50. If you have daughters and you’re teaching them that their purpose in life is to find a husband, have kids, and then stay at home and live to please their husband, then you and anyone else with this belief are seriously short-changing your girls. Women are NOT meant to be servants to their husbands. NO ONE is meant to be a servant to ANYONE. This is SO old fashioned, degrading, insulting, ridiculous, and sad. I’m sad for you that you really believe this and are trying to spread this belief.

  51. Thank you for this. I have 2 boys, aged 17&3, and a little girl due in November. I have worked pretty much since I was 15, but health issues took me out of my nursing career and now I’m at home with my little guy. I lost my sense of routine once I wasn’t working anymore, you have reminded me how critical that truly is when trying to keep home running smoothly!

  52. That is not thriving in your home…that is being a slave to your home. I am a stay at home mom who works part time from my home and I do all of that above and more…but that is not the focus of my family and never will be. Wearing an apron and making sure dinner is on the table is not a woman’s purpose. Her purpose is to love and provide for her family, but also be an inspiration to other women and her children to make a difference in the world and have an outside- of -the- home purpose.

    1. Hi Lisa,

      No where did I say women have no “outside-of-the-home” purpose. However, this post is written about thriving IN your home. And yes, these tips do help many moms get their motivation back up to serving their family. It’s a blessing to provide our families with clean homes, home-cooked meals and LOTS of hugs!

  53. The feeling I took away from it is that women are doing something wrong if doing the laundry and providing a wonderful home cooked meal and such don’t leave a satm feeling fulfilled. Those things are a necessity to life but I need something beyond that. If all I do is tend to the chores, I start to lose who I am as an individual. And the list of duties you gave, is a family’s responsibility, not a wife’s. Children and husbands need to help create that home.

  54. Hi I’m a married stay at home mom with a 9 year old, 3 year old, and 1 year old, as well as about to try to adopt 3 girls ages 16,15, and 12 who are half siblings to the oldest. I’m only 21 years and haven’t had a chance to go back an finish school or go to college like I wanted to. My husband works really hard to support us and tells me that I have the most important job even if I don’t get paid for it. I can’t keep up half the time, I struggle with depression, balancing the age groups,

  55. Trying to potty train the 3 year old who sleeps on the couch because I can’t get him to sleep in his room, the screaming 1 year old who constantly needs mommy’s attention, cooking, cleaning, laundry, myself. husband time. I’m so overwhelmed I’m finding it IMPOSSIBLE to thrive in my home…and what’s worse is sometimes I don’t even have the motivation to try and stick to a schedule because I feel like what’s the point I just have to go do it all over again. I’m so sressed! What do I do?

  56. I have been a SAHM for a year and it has been the most challenging year that I’ve ever experienced. Being a SAHM has been so challenging and seemingly unrewarding. I have found it difficult to get into a routine schedule, keep my body in order, prepare healthy meals for my family and still have a smile on my face.I get so overwhelmed with everything that I shut down and do nothing. I feel like I’m never doing enough and like I’m a failure as person. I am EAGER to put these steps into motion.

  57. At first when I read this I was slightly offended not going to lie. I know I was offended because there is truth in what you are saying and I need to work on these things. I also think thriving looks different for different people. Yes having a clean home is important and I love getting prettied up for my husband but if I do all that and I am miserable or not present for my kids or hubs then its all in vain. There needs to be a balance. I am not always going to get it right and thats ok. :-)

  58. Greetings from Singapore!
    Inspiring read for me; to reset and restart my new year 2015 as I have been SAHM for almost 8 years! Indeed it’s a special calling given by Almighty in mind, be it as a wife, daughter, mother, soulmate or friend! Great, awesome, real & candid wonderful article! God bless and overflow your cup with many blessings, Alison! Happy blessed new year 2015 to you and family! ^_^

  59. If my entire life revolved around keeping my home and cooking for my husband, I would probably kill myself. I stay at home with my children, but my husband and I share the home responsibilities. I can’t figure out why some women are happy to just be subservient to their husbands. You either value yourself or you don’t, and if you don’t, getting up early and wearing an apron isn’t going to make you feel any better. You aren’t a slave; you’re a partner to your husband. Nauseating to read.

    1. Serving my family brings me great joy! It saddens me to know that you would say such harsh words about killing yourself if your life revolved around your family. Some of the happiest women I know, the most fulfilled, are the ones who take GREAT JOY in serving their families. When we put others first, that is what brings true joy. Putting yourself first to bring you true happiness is only a lie that people pas around. They keep striving for more me time, more things, and more experiences — all without experiencing true joy. If we keep God first, our family second and ourselves last, we will INDEED have true joy. I know from experience of putting myself first what utter loneliness and discontentment that truly brings.

  60. I’m very conflicted. I want to want to do all these things but lack motivation. 8 agree with your ideas and also with the other women who feel it’s degrading. How do I go about helping myself get inspired? And motivated? I clean the house and cook and clean again just for it to fall apart the next day and don’t get a thank you or great job babe. I want to do the Godly thing as a woman and mother and wife. But how do it get up and moving and motivated to want to do it?

  61. I think you had some good points here, but I think you focus to much on telling us to work to please our husband and children. I sometimes have felt that trapped feeling ever since I decided to stay home with my son. I was career oriented before I quit to stay at home and I question my decision every day. I want my son to grow up and view me as a hard working, independent woman who loves and takes care of her family. I don’t want him to see my as a mother and wife with no identity other than to look pretty and be pleasant for my husband and kids. I want him to know I have substance. I came here looking for support and I think there are some great tips here, but I would love to hear from some mothers that have found ways to enrich their minds while at home. Any advice?

  62. This article seriously angered me..
    Maybe because I have a husband who is one of those husbands who expects things instead of respects.. But marriage is 100/100
    Takes both to make a marriage.. I have 3 under 3 the last thing I want is a grown man child.. Wives are not slaves.. Make a home guide and enforce rules for everyone to help out with cooking, cleaning..

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