Dear Stay-at-home Wife or Mom Without Kids in the House,
You dear ladies have been on my heart. I know all too well the pressure that is put on you to work outside the home. Maybe the pressure builds so much that you begin to believe the negative comments you hear or feel guilty for staying at home because of the absence of small children running through the house. Don’t worry about “not contributing to society.” You are contributing — much more than people realize!
I want to remind you of one simple thing. You are not JUST a mom. Nope, you are a wife, a friend, a sister, a neighbor and so much more. This world needs women who choose to stay at home, even when the house is quiet. Now, I do not think you are required to be at home 24 hours a day, but your presence in the home really does make a difference.
When my husband and I were first married, I still worked outside the home part-time. I already had that part-time job before we married, and just finished out my commitment before quitting and staying at home full-time. When I did quit, the floodgates of unsolicited comments opened.
“What in the world do you do all day?” someone asked me with irritation in her voice.
I never watched TV. I cleaned, baked pies for friends and families, cross-stitched, ironed my husband’s clothes, helped my mom with her high school choirs, baby-sat, read books and even polished my husband’s military boots. Really, anything and everything that I could do to reach out and help others I did. I didn’t get paid for those things, but I was overflowing with joy to be there when someone needed an extra helping hand.
Advantages of a Stay-at-home Wife or Mom to Society
- Happy husbands. One absolutely wonderful perk about staying home even when there are no kids, is that I am able to help my husband in so many ways. During our first year of marriage, my husband worked a full-time job and went to college full-time. He was also in the Marine Reserves. I only got to see him a few hours a day during the week, but I spent my time during the day washing his laundry, ironing his clothes, making his lunch for work, shining his boots, and keeping our home super-sparkly clean. It felt so good to be able to offer my husband a place of quiet and comfort. Even though he may not have expressed his gratitude every day, I know my husband loved that my world revolved around him, and he was definitely happier because of it. Sure, I am still his help, but I have six kids now and am not able to do all those things I did before. But, one day I will have a quiet house, no more pitter-patters and will still choose to stay home to take care of his needs. Happier husbands are a huge asset to the workplace, churches and all of society!
- Dependable, last-minute baby-sitters. An emergency comes up. Who do people call? The stay-at-home wife or mom. You’re always there, ready to help. Trustworthy child-care at the spur-of-the moment is a true blessing and jewel to your neighbors, friends and family. Don’t think for one minute you are wasting your time when you are enriching so many people’s lives!
- Help for the elderly. When my children are grown, many of my friends may be in the situation where their parents need constant care and supervision. Families who have an elderly family member that suffers from debilitating diseases or conditions welcome a break so they can run errands, attend church or take a short vacation. A wife or mom without children at home can offer that welcomed relief. Do you see how much happiness you can bring into this world just by staying home so you are available to help others?
- Faithful companions. I love, love being a wife. I love cooking for my husband, cleaning his house and raising his children. But far more important than cooking and cleaning for him is the companionship I can provide. If my husband decides he wants to take a weekend getaway, I can go. Why? Because I am not committed to a job outside the home. Even if he just wants someone to go play golf with him on Saturdays or go fishing on Tuesdays. Choosing to stay at home even when my kids are grown will give me the opportunity to be the best companion my husband can have. A devoted, in-tune companion that’s able to enjoy all his life’s adventures with him. He can always find someone to cook or clean for him, but a true, life-long companion is something that is rare and should be cherished. I want to focus on being his companion and not a job that takes my time away from him.
- Homes away from home. Without children in the home, you have a better opportunity to provide a clean, quiet place for visitors to rest than moms with two or three young children at home. You also can be a hostess for church gatherings, baby showers and more. Opening up your home takes a lot of work and time, and sometimes that’s extremely difficult for moms with small children. Enjoy this season of your life by doing what other wives or moms can’t and offer a place of fellowship, comfort and rest for traveling friends, family or just surprise guests!
- Encouragement for young moms. Being a young mom is not easy. Cleaning, cooking, home-schooling, potty-training — sometimes life is in a constant whirlwind. If you’re an older mom who has lots of experience, you can offer advice, encouragement and wisdom to younger moms who are just now beginning their journey of motherhood. Invite that tired mom over for coffee, tea and cookies and share with her your victories and struggles of motherhood. If you’re a stay-at-home wife, you could consider coming over and helping with the laundry, watching the toddlers or babies so the young mom can shower or cook. You could just bring over some yummy pastries and offer some adult conversation — which is always welcome! Either way, you have a wonderful opportunity to help other young moms who are in one of the most difficult stages of a woman’s life, and knowing someone cares can make a world of difference.
Dear mom or wife mom, just because small children do not fill your home does not mean that your home doesn’t mean that your presence in the home is any less important. You are valuable, and you are rare. To find a woman who chooses to stay home so she can minister to the needs of others is a rare breed. It’s not a lazy choice, it’s a choice that brings many blessings to people around you. And I want to say thank-you. Thank you for choosing to stay at home so you can be a blessing to others.