Need Help with Your Difficult Child?
Kids seem out of control these days, don’t they?
Let’s be honest and open about this.
Children who are defiant, disobedient, loud and stubborn are becoming “the norm”.
Honestly. I fear what the next generation of doctors and teachers will look like.
You might be surprised when I write this, but I think many moms are truly trying their best to control their kids.
But maybe, and quite possibly, they are being given misinformation in the area of parenting.
We talk about some common, popular parenting advice that could be causing your child’s misbehavior here. You definitely want to dig into that article if you’ve been searching for answers to your child’s behavior issues!
And because moms care so much about helping their child, they choose to believe those parenting tips.
How Can Parents Control Their Out of Control Kids?
I don’t claim to have all the answers to this parenting thing.
But, I can honestly say that my kids are under control.
And that is one of the greatest blessings in my life!
However, I can’t take all the credit for that!
Years ago I stumbled upon what I believe is the secret sauce of parenting. Ok, I didn’t stumble, I prayed and begged God to give me some answers.
And he did.
Just like He promised to give wisdom to all who ask HIM for it!
He sent parenting wisdom through a mom who had successfully raised five human beings who were living proof that there was indeed a secret sauce to parenting.
I share that secret sauce here.
I won’t keep that a secret!
I am not the perfect mom, nor will I ever be, but I have found a few secrets that really work.
Four crucial ones to be exact.
Thought there are oodles and oodles of parent tidbits about varying seasons and circumstances for parenting precious people!
But for time’s sake, we’re focusing on the four most crucial ones every parent should read, know, believe and act upon!
They have worked with all of my six kids and when I talk to “moms of good kids” they focus on these four secrets too.
Why Are Some Kids Out of Control?
I cannot tell you how many emails, comments and messages I have received from moms who feel like they have lost all control with their children.
Many of them sound hopeless…
Many of them are writing me in tears…
Hoping, grasping and praying for wised.
They need help and they need it now.
I write this post for those dear moms.
I hope and pray that at least a handful of moms will find help, guidance and truth in this simple parenting article.
Secrets to Taming the Out of Control Child
If there is one bit of pertinent advice I can leave you readers about raising a child who is obedient, calm and kind, it would be these four words: consistency, discipline, love and time.
Without those four aspects in child-rearing, your home is doomed for an out-of-control kid.
Your child needs all four of these in his life to have a happy and healthy childhood.
The parenting trend these days of ignoring negative behavior or offering distractions will not solve behavioral issues; but discipline, consistency, time and love will.
In the super-sensitive area of disciplining your child, I will not tell you which modes to choose.
That is between you and your spouse.
But, I will tell you this as information to chew on — we use various modes of discipline for our kids, as each child is different and so is each infraction.
You can read some creative consequences here that I highly recommend!
I will not correct my child who has lied to me in the same manner as a child who failed to complete a chore.
My husband and I strongly believe in making the punishment fit the crime.
Wouldn’t it be silly to sentence a person convicted of littering to life in prison?
The same concept applies to confronting ill behavior in children.
Once you decide which modes of discipline your family will use for each kind of misbehavior, then you must take the next, most important step: always follow through.
I have had many exhausted moms look me in the eye and say, “I have tried everything with this child! He is just too strong-willed. We have done time-out and even spanked. Nothing works!”
However, as we are talking, her child may hit my son and nothing is done.
Normally the mom responds by rolling her eyes while she blurts out, “See what I mean? I deal with this all the time!”
But the truth is, she’s not dealing with it.
And when a mom is to the point of exhaustion, frustration and even anger, it’s incredibly tough to share that observation with her.
Maybe she’s so incredibly discouraged she doesn’t even notice that her tone of voice is aggravated.
Maybe she doesn’t see that her body language is sending “I’m fed up with this!” signals to her “out of control kid.”
Others may see it, but the sleepless nights and seemingly endless “battles” with her child have depleted her.
But maybe we can reach out to her with some real answers.
Because her child should not be labeled “out of control.”
There’s always, always hope for a child to become one of the “good kids.”
But taming an “out of control” kid doesn’t happen overnight.
It takes guidance, love, time, consistency, prayer, intention…
It takes facing the truth and being willing to follow parenting truth that works.
Remember the saying, “the proof is in the pudding?”
How do you know the truth between parenting lies and actually parenting truth?
By looking at the results.
Plenty of commercials promise you “netter teeth, prettier hair, better burgers, better shopping experiences” etc.
But if you see customers using their products and they don’t have “better teeth, prettier hair” etc.?
Then you know something doesn’t add up.
Though I know some “out of control” kids, I also know some well-behaved kids that obey almost every single time their parents give them instructions.
With a smile too! <3
Love meeting those kids!
I remember observing one mom in particular who was nine months pregnant.
During her own baby shower, she stopped joining in the festivities and walked upstairs to address her daughter’s negative behavior.
I hated to know the mom was being inconvenienced at such a special celebration, but I knew that she would be rewarded in time to come.
She chose addressing her child’s misbehavior over convenience.
And today?
Almost 12 years later?
She has remarkable kids.
They’re no doubt the result of her consistent love and guidanceg!
What are the Answers to Tame an Out of Control Kid
I have been pregnant 10 times.
Yeah, I know, it’s a lot.
I understand and know what it is like to be exhausted and have a toddler throw a tantrum.
You want to just close your eyes and wish it away — but that only makes matters worse.
I have had to stop in the middle of nursing a newborn and confront a toddler who was screaming because he wanted something -—- now!
When a young child misbehaves, he needs his parent to address his negative behavior immediately.
Ignoring and distracting will not let him know he is out of control.
It will only encourage him to continue to misbehave.
And, many times, your child will act out of control in the most inopportune times.
You may be in the store, at a doctor’s office, breast-feeding a newborn or changing a diaper.
Kids aren’t ignorant.
They know the perfect time to push your buttons and test the limits.
How to Raise a Well-behaved Child
But, in order to see positive progress and to tame your out of control child, you have to stop and address negative behavior right away — every. single. time.
In the beginning of helping your out-of-control kid control his anger and frustrations, it will be constant correcting and guiding.
It will demand huge chunks of your time, dedication and sacrifice.
it will require mountains of patience and oceans of love.
But after committing to consistent dedication to training your child, you will see a huge difference.
You will be able to tame your “out of control” child.
Shopping, church, family get-togethers and your own personal home-life will be more peaceful if you stick with it — all the time…every time.
But, with consistency and discipline, don’t forget about the most important secret to gaining control of your child.
Love.
No yelling, no screaming, no cursing, no gritted teeth.
If you’ve developed the hurtful habit of yelling, we offer some help here. <3
Pure, sacrificial, attentive love.
The kind of love that will give everything for someone else’s well-being.
Without it, your child will only see rules and regulations.
But if you balance cultivating positive behavior in your child with loads of unreserved love and affection, you will reap a kind, sweet, obedient child who will become much more than just a son or daughter.
They may even become your close friend.
Psst!
You want to know something else?
Kids of all ages need to know you truly love and care for them — even teens!
On especially difficult days, I make sure I put my arm around my teenager son and let him know I appreciate how he helps out around the house.
He is always visibly appreciative for the encouragement and affection.
And you know what love, discipline and consistency all take?
Time.
Make sure you are giving them one-on-one, quantity time of love and affection.
They need your time to address their misbehavior, praise their good moments and simply show them you care about them — to the moon and back!
What are your secrets to keeping your child under control?
Let’s chat on social media!
