Are there common, bad habits that keep you from being a patient mom?
And because they’re so common, they’re easily missed — just like these popular parenting tips that can cause bad behavior in our kids.
We often think of bad habits as yucky manners — like picking noses, belching at the dinner table or interrupting others while they’re speaking.
But these bad habits are quite different…
Is being a patient mom an everyday battle for you?
If it is, you’re not alone.
When I asked a group of moms what they struggle with most, the majority of them replied, “Patience.”
Why is being a patient mom such a struggle?
Because being a mom in the 2000’s is a completely new journey.
We face parenting struggles our parents never dealt with.
We have to make decisions about screen-time, texting friends, public school, private school or homeschool and we’re definitely more conscious of our kids diets than almost any generation.
Add that to a mom’s busy schedule (but this mom schedule will help keep you sane!) and patience can run extremely thin.
How do we fix it?
By identifying bad habits (that literally almost all of us make) that drain us from patience, kindness and understanding.
Why Identify these Common Bad Habits that Keep You From Being a Patient Mom?
Because our kids desperately need us to be patient.
They need mom to understand when they stop to look at the caterpillar crawling on the ground..
And they don’t get that math problem after we have explained again…and again.
If you ever meet me in person, you may notice that I ask questions…
If I meet a mom who is ten years older than me, I immediately chat with her about her life wisdom as a mom.
So many moms have life wisdom that’s tucked away and they’re itching to share it! Don’t be afraid to ask them for tips!
Then my heart overflows as I grasp that I’m learning so much about being a mom from a seasoned professional.
Those Women Taught Me How to be a Patient Mom
The principles those moms shared with me ring in my heart and ears on the difficult days.
- Slow down…
- Take it one day at a time…
- Enjoy the little moments…
- Ignore the the clock, but stick to a routine..
Not one of those older moms laughed or sneered at me for expressing my frustrations with my own failures in the area of patience.
But they did help me see that I had developed some bad habits that were robbing me from being the patient mom I had already dreamed of being.
The one who smiles and greets her kids with cookies.
Just identifying the bad habits has transformed our home in a big way.
I share in-depth ways to create a happier home here.
It’s 25 daily challenges that dig deep into the happiness level in your home and how you have the super power of creating a happy home!
But back to patience…
Let’s identity those bad habits NOW so you can start afresh and give your kids the gift of a patient mom!
Common Bad Habits that Keep You From Being a Patient Mom
Sweating the small stuff.
It’s not the end of the world if your child spills his milk at the table, yet so many times we react like it is!
It’s not the end of the world if your baby spits up all over your new outfit.
Though we may feel frustration and even anger, we need to ask ourselves this question, “Is this REALLY going to impact the rest of my life?”
No. No it isn’t.
It’s best to wipe up the spilled milk, clean the spit-up stained dress and move on.
Just roll with it..;0)
If you need to calm down, go for a walk, drink some tea or try one of these idea that help you thrive on the difficult days.
Don’t lose your cool, and definitely don’t show anger towards your child.
They are learning and will definitely mess up sometimes — just like we do!
I can’t help but think of that cutesy kid song that says:
“He’s still working on me, to make me what I ought to be. It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars, the sun and the Earth and Jupiter and Mars. How loving and PATIENT He must be. Cause He’s still working on me.”
How patient is God with us?
Shouldn’t we reflect that kind of love to our kids?
The best person to help you be accountable in the area of patience is someone in your very own home.
Your hubby or even your kids can keep you accountable.
Express your desire to be a patient mom and ask that person to help you stay on track.
If your child or husband sees you becoming irritable and impatient, ask them to give you a gentle tap on the shoulder or arm to let you know they are observing danger signs.
Accountability helps you be a patient mom!
Having someone close to you lovingly point out when you’re in the “danger zone” can help you become the patient mom you desire to be.
Just be willing to accept the little reminders with kindness.
Your accountability partners are only trying to help!
Refusing to take daily breaks.
For some reason, some of us think we need to be all-powered, 24/7 super-moms.
I’m totally guilty of this!
But we’re only human…and our systems will shut down if we don’t get mental, emotional and physical breaks during the day.
Think of your husband…
He probably works extremely hard providing for your family, but he doesn’t feel the least bit guilty coming home and completely unwinding.
He puts on comfy clothes, eats some yummy food and may even do some leisure activity like play a game or watch a movie.
But if we take an hour break during the day, we often think we’re lazy or we’re not giving our family enough of our time.
However, our families will function MUCH better if we take time to de-stress and unwind.
Taking 30-minutes to an hour daily to rest, exercise, read a book or whatever makes you feel refreshed will actually help you gain more patience as a mom.
And don’t forget to take mini-breaks during the day too if your patience is running thin!
Take 5 or 10 minutes, re-group, and return to your family refreshed, kind and in-control.
Not being careful with your words.
My hero, the Proverbs 31 woman, chose to always be kind…
In fact, the Bible records that kindness was a law in her tongue.
Pretty amazing, right?
Maybe you have your own laws..
- Kids can’t wear shoes in the house.
- No screen time after 7 PM.
No lights on after 9 PM.
No soft drinks except for the weekends.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if in your heart you determined to always be kind and always be patient?
Like a law that you would strive with all your might to keep.
When we’re not careful with our words, and we criticize and speak harshly to our family, then the patient mom we desired to be flees the scene.
We snap, we fuss, we grumble.
No more do our kids hear a kind and loving voice.
Instead, they hear, “Pick up your toys — NOW!”
“Get in the bed…NOW!”
Sometimes through gritted teeth.Seeking God’s strength to help us pepper our family’s days with kindness almost always leads to a more patient mom. Try it!
Neglecting to play with kids.
Playing with your kids relieves tons of stress.
Silencing the rest of the world and joining your child in her world, makes you appreciate all the loveable aspects of your child.
Her imagination when you put on puppet shows together…
Her artistic abilities when you finger paint…
Her love for life when she giggles when you play a game of Go Fish.
Playing With Kids helps You Be a Patient Mom
When you play with your kids, you often forget about the laundry that needs to be folded and the bills that have to be paid.
You seem to re-visit the realm of childhood…and when you return, you have a heart full of patience!
Saying yes to everything.
There’s a beauty in learning to say no to events, people and opportunities that aren’t necessary in your season of life.
When you always say yes, you are creating the perfect situation to become stressed, drained and definitely less patient.
Even saying no on a daily basis is a must if you’re in a busy season of life.
For instance, say no to Netflix and yes to baking cookies with the kids.
Today, say no to re-organizing the pantry and yes to a trip to the park.
Tomorrow, say no to finger-painting but yes to re-organizing the pantry (because life can’t be all fun and games!)
Before you make any more commitments, truly ask yourself if that commitment will encourage you to be a patient mom or an over-worked mom.
Only you know the answer!
I get it.
Kids crawling all over you at 6 AM makes it crazy difficult to get morning time alone with God — but somehow you have to make it happen.
Spending quiet time with God helps prepare you for the hurdles of motherhood.
You need God’s strength to power through the day.
You need God’s love to shower your kids with affection.
You need God’s wisdom to make parenting decisions that aren’t so black and white.
If mornings are impossible, try the afternoons.
If you have toddlers or preschoolers, this naptime formula is exactly how I got all six of my kids to nap (as well as an entire class of two year olds!) on a daily basis.
This gave me and my kids two hours of quiet time every single day.
If your kids are too old for naps, cut back on social media or movies in the evening so you can be committed to cultivating your relationship with God.
Want more encouragement for your mom journey? Join our mommy chats in our All Things Mommy group on Facebook! See you there!