15 Ways to Spice Up Your Marriage

Ready to Spice Up Your Marriage?

Every marriage needs adventure, unexpected surprises, love boosts and some added heat once in a while, don’t you agree?

Hey, this marriage thing is for life, so make the most of it!

I know the kids are important, but keep your marriage priority.

Your kids will benefit greatly from it!

How to spice up your marriage

There’s an unspoken security in knowing your parents are madly in love instead of just “putting up” with each other.

So, enjoy your life together and get ready to spice things up a bit!

romance in marriage

If you are blessed with an awesome spouse, or even one that’s not so awesome, I want to share with you some fun and simple ideas that will spice up your marriage!

how to add romance to your marriage

15 Ways to Spice Up Your Marriage

Send flirty text messages.

Here’s a huge list of ideas to get you started.

Buy something racy.

Forget your comfy, cotton p.j.s and buy something that will grab your husband’s attention — fast!

If you’re tight on money, try working with what you already have and adding accessories.

Also, I have found some great deals on clearance racks at the large department stores.

Many times those fun, flirty outfits are hidden on a grandma-looking gown rack — DIG!

You won’t be sorry you did when you snag something cute for $10!

Say “yes.”

If your husband ever comes up with an idea he thinks may be fun, don’t hesitate.

Say, “Yes!”

Sometimes we have other plans, or maybe even a headache, but by saying yes you will freshen up your marriage and let your husband know he’s important to you.

Shower your hubby with compliments.

You know what he likes to hear — say it!

Don’t forget the small stuff.

What’s your husband’s favorite treat?

Surprise him with it often!

Does he like to sleep in on Saturdays?

Keep the kids quiet and let him rest.

Whatever pleases your husband, make it your priority!

The little things add up!

More Ways to Spice Up Your Marriage!

Prepare for him.

If your husband arrives home at the same time daily, prepare for him!

Freshen up your hair and make-up.

Give the house a good “once-over.” This house swoop list is perfect for that!

Have a snack and his favorite drink ready and greet him with a smile.

Don’t throw the kids on him or a “honey-do” list.

Give him something to look forward to!

Touch often.

Small touches throughout the day can add up.

My husband always teases me about how I take items out of this hand — like money or car keys.

I often purposely touch him gently and let my hand linger for a few extra moments.

He notices. I notice.

We both enjoy the added spice!

Give him chill bumps.

After 14 years, I still love doing this.

I sneak up and start whispering in my husband’s ear or give him some kisses.

Butterflies and chill bumps shouldn’t stop when you get married — they should increase!

Whatever sends good shivers up your hubby’s spine, be mindful to do it!

Look pretty for him.

Some days are exhausting, I know.

But, take a few minutes and make yourself look nice for him everyday.

You don’t have to spend hours on your appearance!

Sometimes I just put my hair up in a chic clip, spend five minutes on my make-up and lather on a few drops of Bath and Body works lotion — it’s my fave.

It’s not a huge amount of work, and my husband appreciates it.

He always grins at me and asks, “Now, who are you getting all prettied up for?”

Ah, the flirting begins!

Oh, and don’t forget to shave your legs — even in the winter!

A prickly cactus is not inviting to the touch. :)

Date, date, date.

Did I mention date your husband?

Several months ago I asked my Facebook fans how often they dated heir husbands.

The answers were saddening.

I know baby-sitters are expensive, but if you’re able to invest in one — do it!

If you can’t afford an out-of-home date, plan one at home!

Here are some stay-at-home-date ideas if you’re in that pinch.

Also, consider budgeting money just for your dates.

Sacrifice in other areas so your marriage can thrive.

Don’t fall into the stereotypical marriage where there’s no more flirting, fun or passion.

What you love most, you’l spend your time and money on.

Spend BOTH on your marriage!

Say no to “the girls.”

It’s sad, but I personally know couples where the husband is always going out with “the boys” and the wife is always heading out with “the girls.”

Sure, it’s fun to have girl days with our friends, but only say yes when you and your spouse have already had plenty of time to connect!

And we interrupt this spicy post with some CRAZY WONDERFUL NEWS!

Marriage can be absolutely wonderful! But sometimes it can take an unexpected turn. And sometimes women being to think (or realize) they have married a less, than admirable husband.

And that’s exactly why I wrote How to Love Your No Good, Very Bad Husband.

It’s a book (which also includes some professionally designed and inspiring printables) that helps wives see the power they have in cultivating an exciting marriage! Your husband can become your best friend again.

You and your husband can enjoy the sparks of love, compassion and intimacy that you once shared.

And your husband may even come to know the God you love and trust through your dedication to create a happier, loving marriage.

how o love your no good very bad husband

Learning to love your husband is a powerful decision.

Choosing to love your husband in spite of his shortcomings and bad decisions will only help transform your marriage into one that positively and massively affects your family for generations to come.

Want to be the grandparents that had the “perfect” marriage?

Want to be the wife that your husband has aways dreamed of?

Want your husband to give his heart to you again?

no good very bad husband

It’s possible.

But you have to take the first step.

And this lesson-based book gives you daily, actionable tasks to help you love your husband with a powerful, genuine, selfless love.

And that, dear wife, is the exact type of love your marriage needs.

No more excuses.

No more cutting and damaging remarks that tear your husband down and build you up.

Start over.

Start loving your husband more today than you ever have before.

Back to Chatting about Spicing Up Your Marriage!

Learn to laugh.

Your husband doesn’t want a grumpy, stressed out wife.

Learn to laugh and have fun.

Tickle wars, pillow fights and simple competitive games are great ways to get you giggling.

Of course, my husband gets his laughs out of playing pranks on me!

I saw him laugh so hard, I wasn’t sure he was still breathing!

Just open-mouthed silence that FINALLY ended in a laugh.

It was good for both of us — though he scared me out of my wits!

Put the kids to bed at a decent hour.

Keeping your kids on a bedtime routine will give you and your hubby some quiet, one-on-one time together.

And, trust me, it’s much needed.

My husband and I absolutely love our kids, but we also look forward to the couple of hours of quiet time we enjoy together at night.

Avoid the temptations of staying on Facebook or on the phone every night for hours.

Once in a while, ok, but not every single night.

You want passion, right?

You have to make time for it!

Keep your room clean.

It’s hard to add spice to your marriage when your room is cluttered with junk and the bed is never made.

I often think about the strange woman in Proverbs chapter 7.

Ever read about her?

She is tempting a young man to spend the night with her, and you know what she says?

She doesn’t say, “Come to my dirty, cluttered room and we will fill ourselves with loves.”

No, she says she has decked her bed with fine linens and perfumed her bed.

Sounds inviting, clean, luxurious and tempting, don’t you think?

Instead of shoving over a pile of laundry, or stepping over 20 toys, offer a clean, inviting, intimate room for the two of you to unwind at the end of the day.

Smile and stay perky.

So simple, right?

I think one of the things my husband liked most about me when we were dating is I was perky — sometimes a little too perky.

I was so excited to be with him and his presence kept a grin on my face.

Fast forward 14 years, and some days it’s a little bit more difficult to keep that smile.

Not that I don’t have a wonderful life, but I have so many more responsibilities.

When days are a little bit more stressful, I try remember these small motivators, to help me get more pep in my step and add smile to my face.

Let’s be completely honest here.

Your husband is NOT attracted to a sour-faced, grumpy woman.

So turn his head with your smile and a giggle!

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How Do You Spice up Your Marriage and Keep the Passion Alive?

Share your thoughts below!

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21 thoughts on “15 Ways to Spice Up Your Marriage”

  1. While I agree that these are suggestions that can benefit a relationship, I disagree that these are things SHE should do for HIM. It comes across very sexist… as if the responsibility lies on HER to keep the spark and to entertain HIM. The reality is that two people have to be equally invested in keeping the spark in a long term relationship. The 1950’s are over a half century behind us.

    1. Thank you EJ for so eloquently writing my exact thoughts. The responsibility to keep up our love life lies only with me? Where are the suggestions for my husband who works from home? Perhaps before I get home from work everyday he could freshen up for me and change out of his gym clothes…? Welcome to 2014 ladies.

      1. These are suggestions from a wife to a wife. If you want your husband to learn a few things then talk to him. Read him the list and see if he gets inspired. Also you both sound terribly selfish. If you honestly read this thinking “ugh! I have to do everything!” Then shame on you!! I have a husband that has a hard time instigating the intimate parts of marriage. We are both honest with each other and he knows he falls short, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be the one spicying it up! No! I’m better at this part! So I get flirty! The things I fall short on in marriage, he is very good at taking up the responsibility on. You women are contentious feminist! Welcome to 2014!

        1. They are not selfish. They are not feminists. They are a couple of women who always have been the instigator, always have taken the initiative. They are tired and they feel very alone.
          Reading this list to the men in their lives most likely will result in nothing but a polite smile and maybe some sort of “That’s nice.”
          I suggest reading between the lines before jumping down throats.
          ~ someone in the same boat ~

    2. Ladies, just because this particular list is for women doesn’t mean we don’t expect our men to do their part; it’s simply a list of ways we can do OUR part. Not every article is focused on both sexes. This one is for women.

      Love this list. :) I continuously seek out reminders to do my part in my relationship. I find it very motivational to find others who are doing the same thing! Thanks, Alison!

  2. This is such a wonderful article, thank you! I think a lot of your points come down to being kind and considerate, and loving him as you would want to be loved, which is a biblical truth. I don’t think it has anything to do with the 1950’s being long behind us as another commenter mentioned. These are things we can do as wives, just as there are many kind and considerate things that a husband can do for his wife. Thank you Alison.

  3. I love your tips/reminders! I always walk him to the door in the morning to say “goodbye and I love you.” His sister was visiting a couple of years ago and asked how long we have been married, almost scoffing at us. We have a very fulfilling relationship because we both try.

    1. So sweet! Yes, family may scoff in the beginning, but in time, they will see a strong, healthy marriage and may even ask advice!

  4. These are so sweet! And I don’t believe this is sexist…. husbands and wives should both do things to make the other feel loved and appreciated she didnt say anything about its just being the womans job. Seems selfish to try talk about what about the husband’s and what they should be doing…this is a article for us wives to read and be reminded of how much lil things mean to our husbands. It makes me excited to learn new ways to become a better wife.

    1. Thank you for your sweet words, Missy! You’re absolutely right. I focus on encouraging wives and moms here, so I don’t write about what a man or husband should do..you put it perfectly!

  5. I meant to say seems selfish to try and talk about what the husbands should be doing for you. Also didn’t mean it as the wives should not be loved and appreciated also.

  6. :( Where’s men’s version? Guess I’ll adapt it. I think everyone’s comments on here are valid, but I think many shouldn’t take this article or themselves too seriously. There are men like myself that scour Pinterest etc looking 4 articles in an attempt to get ideas, and do “his” part. After spending 10 yrs w the wrong one, that didn’t appreciate me & didn’t know how to do “her” part, I’m dead set on keeping the right one that’s my current gf and future wife even if I must do “his” and “her” part.

  7. I’m a strong, secure, passionate and attentive man that knows his woman’s worth. I’d move mountains, kill, or even die for her,…. so cleaning the house before she gets home, laundry, making the beds & fixing dinner, doing the dishes, putting her and my kids to bed, drawing her a bubble bath, giving her a massage, and taking care of her needs first is the least a guy can do. I’m always open for suggestions. Every fire dies out that’s not constantly tended.

  8. Pingback: 133 - Momma Wants to Spice Things Up | Stupendous Marriage

  9. This article is very informative and you are spot on. However maybe you can have a different approach. There must be a reason some readers are offended by this. When giving advice it is very important to address both your persuasion/argument and a counter argument so you don’t sound too biased and chase readers away. And either you are an almost perfect wife or you make it sound like that is what is ideal or realistic. I think this article has great tips and points but it seems a little unrealistic.Yes of course we should take care of our Men, they deserve it. But we are only human. Sometimes we let the bitterness take us over by wondering why we should have to take care of someone else when they don’t take care of our particular needs as well. It’s ideal but can be much more challenging than you make it sound.

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