Why Do Other Moms Hate Me for These Things?
Some days I think I’ve finally grown thick skin as a mommy blogger.
Other days the catty, mean comments and overly rude messages get to me.
Their gossip and insanely cruel emails finally bring me to tears.
But I have to fight the urge to snap back at them with sarcasm.
I’m trying to refrain from acting like a teenager and rolling my eyes.
Biting my tongue, I quietly beg God for grace.
Kindness.
Yes, Some Moms Hate Me for Doing These Things
Because that is not my nature.
I grew up with a sarcastic mouth so I have oodles of comebacks and cut-downs floating around in my head.
But I can’t dwell on them or they’ll spew out of my mouth.
And words once spoken, can rarely be taken back.
Plus, there’s something even more important.
I’m raising four girls.
Four amazing, wonderful, creative and intelligent girls.
And I don’t want them to end up being catty.
Judgemental.
Critical.
And just plain mean.
And those four, young women, are looking to me for guidance.
- They need an example to follow.
- They need to see kindness returned when anger is hashed out.
- They need to see a mom who is willing to be a verbal punching bag at times so that there can be peace.
Why Do Moms Hate Other Moms?
I can’t see everyone’s heart nor do I know their motives.
I know few people so well that I can declare what makes them tick.
However, I do know that many times women take what other women do personally.
Even though other women’s decisions have absolutely nothing to do with them.
They get offended that other women are choosing to raise their kids differently.
They get offended that other women are choosing to view their marriage differently.
And Some Moms Will Hate Other Moms for These Very Reasons
Why can’t they let it go?
Aren’t we living in the “age of acceptance”?
Aren’t most churches preaching “love everyone”?
Yet, as a conservative, Christian mom I get bombarded with criticism.
For instance, I wrote this post about games my kids were not allowed to play.
I kid you not…
No exaggeration here…
Just on Pinterest alone (yes, they allow comments there now!) I got oodles of comments cussing me out.
Complete strangers commented and predicted my kids were going to be pregnant by the time they were 18 and divorced by 25.
They called me prude…ignorant.
They said I was creating a breeding ground for rebellious teens.
And they have never met me or my kids.
Most of them probably only read that one article and quickly decided they knew the future fate of my family.
They also decided it was fine to cuss at me, criticize me and tear apart my family with their cutting remarks.
What an Evil, Unkind and Hateful World We Live In
Yet, we read that LOVE is the theme of our generation.
LOVE is the focus.
But, our world is full of hate.
Not love.
Don’t Be a Mom Who Hates!
And just in case another Christian mom is facing the same criticism, I want to give her a hug…
A fist bump…
A “you can do this” smile!
Because, if a mom knows she’s pleasing God with her actions, attitude and decisions, that is ALL that matters.
People’s opinions always take a backseat to pleasing God.
Always.
What are those nine things I do that other moms hate?
Read on. :)
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9 Things I Do That Some Moms Hate
I Refuse to Reward Bad Behavior
I’m all about bear hugs, giggles, pretend play and building pillow forts!
Our kids know I want to be a fun mom as much as possible.
But when they’re throwing fits about candy in the grocery store? Bear hugs are not the answer.
I Made Certain Words Off Limits in Our Home
Years ago I put a stop to certain words in our home.
“I hate you” and “Shut-up” are just a few.
You can read the full list of outlawed words in our family here. :)
I Placed Boundaries In My Marriage
This one has definitely been a hot topic!
My husband and I decided our marriage was the most important relationship in our life.
We chose to protect it the best way possible.
We set up these five boundaries that we thought would keep our marriage safe from harm.
I didn’t expect everyone to come to the same conclusion, but I certainly didn’t expect moms to be angry with me and tell me I was “overboard” or “super jealous” for placing safeguards in my marriage.
Moms Hate Me For My Clothing Choices
I Choose to Wear Modest Clothing
This has been a hot topic among family.
I find it pretty strange that the women wearing cut off shorts and bikinis in the family are rarely pulled aside and questioned about their clothing.
But my daughters and me?
Some family members have no reservations expressing their negative opinions about our modest clothing choices.
I Avoid Alcoholic Drinks
You would think adults, church-going people would not tease moms for choosing not to drink alcohol.
It’s simply not the case.
Once friends find out you don’t drink, things get awkward.
And there’s pressure on the non-drinking mom to give a 10,000 word thesis on why she chooses not to drink.
Sigh.
I’m Picky About Movies and Music
Between social media, news and non-Christian family members, I need all the spiritual encouragement I can get.
I don’t need to sit down, or allow my kids to sit down, and watch movies and shows that will encourage me to dabble in things that God calls sin.
Magazines, Youtube videos, website articles and even neighbors are constantly making sin seem acceptable…normal…and not that bad.
I don’t need that seeping into my mind and heart.
That’s why my family and I stick to things that won’t make the path to sin look appealing.
It’s not a popular choice, and some moms are incredibly frustrated with our choices, but that’s completely ok.
Some Moms Really Hate Me For This Decision
I Let My Husband Lead
Yes, my husband does have the final say in decisions in our home.
Sometimes I don’t like his decisions.
Sometimes his final word frustrates me, but…
I have to trust that as the leader of the home, his decision will be the best for us.
Just like I want our children to follow their parental guidance, I desire to give my husband that same honor and follow his leadership.
I Believe Yelling Is Not An Option for Moms
I’ve been told I’m a “holier-than-thou” mom because I encourage moms to stop yelling.
Other moms can continue to hate me, but I firmly believe children deserve the gift of a home where a mom doesn’t yell.
A home where a mom focuses on cultivating a happy home.
A place of refuge, kindness and oodles of hugs!
I Think Being a Stay at Home Mom is Better than Being a Millionaire
My teen daughter is already getting negative feedback when people ask her what vocation she plans on pursuing after college.
Her answer?
She desires to be a stay-at-home mom.
People are telling her she’ll be wasting her life and her education.
Much like they told me 20 years ago.
But guess what?
I have absolutely no regrets for choosing to be a stay-at-home mom from day one of my mom journey. I don’t feel trapped, unappreciated or unfulfilled.
Looking at my six kids, my husband and our home reminds me that I did make the right decision. <3
If Some Moms Hate YOU, What Do You Do?
I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I do know that one day I will stand before my creator and give an account for the life He gave me.
I’ll give an account for how I raised my kids, the words I spoke, the thoughts I had and even the financial decisions I made.
And God’s opinion of me greatly outweighs what other people think.
However, I still need to follow my Savior’s example and be kind.
Smile when those moms are gritting their teeth.
Send them gifts to brighten their day.
Pray for them and their families.
And hope that one Day moms will stop hating each other over these differences.
Until then, I’ll ask God to give me the grace to return hatred with love.
Because He certainly did. <3
